duration of intercourse

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Registered: 10-30-2003
duration of intercourse
59
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 12:28am

I often read threads about men who orgasm too quickly during intercourse.

CL-Yasmin1967

May I have the serenity to accept what I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 12:03am

For me, it's as simple as finding extremes unattractive.

CL-Yasmin1967

May I have the serenity to accept what I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I

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Registered: 11-04-1999
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 12:35am
Thank you so much. How refreshing! There is, in fact, a lot of "political correctness" pressure on men these days. It's nice to see a woman who understands this.

As for putting a high value on sexually pleasing a woman, there's something in it for me, too. If she's happy with my lovemaking, she's more likely to hang around and come back for more.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 1:08am
Sounds about right to me. My DH has no problem drawing out intercourse for my benefit, if need be, and doesn't resent me for asking. Nor do I resent him for asking for something that he may need in order to be satisfied.

Quickies, which is what we both would call 3-5 minutes of intercourse, are fine occasionally but not as satisfying, to either of us, as making love. IF my DH could not hold back orgasm any longer than that though, then we would make sure that I was at the same level of arousal before penetration. I don't think it would or should be a big deal.

Sometimes, he will persist in continuing oral sex on me even after a couple of orgasms and I am ready to move on so I guess it is satisfying to him to know that he can please me. And I'm not about to complain either. LOL!




Edited 5/21/2004 12:08 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001

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Registered: 06-19-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 10:00am
Well-i've slept with roughly 10 men in my 7 years of being sexual active and I'd have to say that about half of them lasted 3-5 minutes (sometimes even shorter) and the other half have lasted 20 minutes or longer...what a spectrum! My current boyfriend, and love of my life, lasts FOREVER. Sometimes it is just too much--I will have 2-3 orgasms per session-which he LOVES-but sometimes i just wish he would come sooner! We've talked about it and i don't want to put unnecessary pressure on him (After all-how would i feel if he endlessly approached me about needing to come faster!?). Usually, if he doesn't masturbate for a few days (we only get to see eachother 2 days a week since we live about an hour apart), then the first time we have sex will be pretty quick, 10-15 minutes--THAT is a quickie for us! THen the second time that night usually is about 45 minutes---and believe me we go thru a lot of positions and astroglide in that time. THere are a few times that he won't come at all-but most of the time he eventually does. Oh-and he didn't train himself to be this way--he just is this way-he's not used to having so much sex either (hee hee)! I guess everyone is different! For me--it usually takes me about 7-10 minutes of intercourse to orgasm unless i'm REALLY horny (I don't come from oral).

Anyhow my two cents. Good question though!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 10:57am
>>As for putting a high value on sexually pleasing a woman, there's something in it for me, too. If she's happy with my lovemaking, she's more likely to hang around and come back for more.<<

You forgot to mention the most important one. I think to an extent it is selfish to be selfless. You give 100% of yourself to your partners pleasure, why? So that she does the same for you!!! Or at least I do. I wont even pretend to claim to be selfless, for I am incredibly selfish. I put forth a lot of effort for my SO, and her orgasms, so that in turn, she will treat me with the same devotion, determination, and ability. There is nothing to be said for a man who is claiming to be all selfless, or all selfish. Thanks to Yasmin for the back up. At times I feel like my opinion has no backing anywhere other than my little corner of the world, and sometimes it doesn't. But it is nice to see someone say something possitive about what I post, and not always such negative and agressive comments.

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Registered: 04-08-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 11:03am
>>Sometimes, he will persist in continuing oral sex on me even after a couple of orgasms and I am ready to move on so I guess it is satisfying to him to know that he can please me. I'm not about to complain though. LOL! <<

LOL> I do the same thing. I do it cause she gets so much more active during. And the more she orgasms to my oral fixation, the better I feel about my ability to please her. It makes love making for me a lot better when I get the super charged responces from her, and that major boost to the ego. I do have an ego, and I display it often, not only for her, but to you on the board. It is not because I want to brag and show off, or even to try and convince you all, it is just my way. I love to please the woman I am with, and without it, sex does very little for me. I need that feeling, in order to continue, or get satisfaction myself. Even if she is pleasing me only, I still need to know that she is enjoying herself, and not just doing it for my benefit. So in some small way, my sexual pleasure is dirived from hers.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 11:43am
We're both like that. I need to know that I am meeting his needs, too.

We BOTH want to be satisfied at the end of the evening, don't get me wrong, but part of that satisfaction IS emotional, knowing that your partner has been taken care of to the best of your ability.

And I think for some, the emotional satisfaction is even more important. Nothing wrong with that either if you feel good about your overall relationship.






Edited 5/21/2004 11:55 am ET ET by katmandoo2001

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Registered: 04-08-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 11:48am
Yes, I would have to agree with you on that. A large part of sexual pleasure is emotional. Knowing that your partenr is pleased with the session, experience, or whatever is as important in your pleasure as your orgasm is for yourself. Or at least it is for me. I will orgasm, whether she does or not, but if I know she didn't, my orgasm is quick, and very small, compared to when I know she has orgasmed several times. Then mine is just like WOW, Holy love of god, This is amazing, toes curling, thighs acheing, back arching, face making O.
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 9:21pm
You don't want to be misunderstood; same here. :)

YES sex being totally one sided isn't fun for me either, BUT...

1) None of these ladies or gents said their relationships were anyway. Being about "some" or certain guys claiming to treat their women like queens is no different than Jack or John or Jim being just as suspicious about "some" ladies simply being jealous. Kinda bunk, huh? IMHO, why play that either way?; thats all I was saying there.

2) Difference between stating what does and does not work for us compared to making fun of how boring someone else's style is. If Joe actually WAS totally selfish, just remember that HIS WIFE likes him that way and SHE HERSELF would take exception to HER CHOICE being made fun of as boring. Again, nothing wrong with opinions, but sensitivity doesn't have to leave the door, does it? NOTHING to do with extremes or anything, just nice for us all to remember that for every different type of MAN out there with a happy wife, there's a HAPPY WIFE WHO LIKES HIM THAT WAY, so calling HIM such and such is ALSO calling HER PREFERENCE such and such.

...smiley face time?...

 

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