during sex.. HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2007
during sex.. HELP
17
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 2:25pm

me & my boyfriend of 2 years..are experiancing an issue thats been going on lately. (past 4 times weve had sex) during sex..its just boring after he cant get "it" up anymore. (in the beginning) sex is great & he`s rock hard and we enjoy it together. im usually ALWAYS on top. and we do good about switching into diff. positions together. but when i am on top (after about 10-15 mins of sex) and he pulls out he gets soft very very quickly. i dont even think he has an orgasm unless he does and i not know it. then he just gets tired, lazy & gets an attitude with me. when im 100% aroused and ready for another round.. so its like.. boring (im laying there waiting for him) and he doesnt move. then all i want to do is get up and leave, but at the same time i dont because i love him..but he wont tell me anything thats wrong he just shows it..but then once im ready to leave he grabs me & kisses me and tells me he loves me & doesnt want me to leave.. im like.. "what?" i dont understand him. sounds like more other issues huh...? but im mostly concerned about our sex life thats making me want to not have sex with him anymore, or 'cheat' i dont want too.. i really dont & never have but i have needs and ive never had an orgasm or really a good outcome of sex with him.
its so hard...& i love him very very very much.

what should i do..say???

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2007
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 8:39pm

misty mae.. i orgasm every single time i masturbate. he doesnt know i do because i havent ever told him that i do either one.

im going to look into them..ive seen alot & im learning alot. jus by what you guys are telling me. im over-reacting as 'usual' but we talked about sex lastnight & hopefully next time we have sex it will be a differant outcome..as far as both of our 'needs' to pleasure eachother

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 8:44pm
FYI, many men find it a huge turn on to watch a woman masturbate. Just in case you want to try it in front of him sometime. I know I can never get enough of watching DW come.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 8:51pm

Since you orgasm when you masturbate then show him or tell him what you need, what kind of touch, pressure, fast, slow, whatever it is that gets you off, you have to let him know.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2007
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 8:55pm
i know..ive heard so many times..but for me. it seems so awkward & im not comfy doing that in front of him.
i just got 'used' to rubbing & massaging him 'down there' ive never done that to no other man ive had sex with..he likes when i do that alot..im slowly doing things ive never done, or said i would never do...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 8:59pm
Like Tish said, you need to be able to communicate to him what feels good to you, and helps get you *there*, if you want the sex to be satisfying. There's no better way to do that than to show him yourself.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 9:02pm

You've gotten some great advice here, but I really have to second what Tish said in her last post. After 2 years together, you should feel comfortable communicating with him.

I didn't realize that you had sex with previous men. If you don't mind me asking, why were you with him for two years before your relationship turned sexual?



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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2007
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 6:11pm
we waited about a year..but we were on & off during the 2 years.
but i guess because we both had alot going on..we both wanted too (weve told eachother that) but i guess he didnt want to seem pushy, neither did i... its weird. but im glad we waited.. our relationship wasnt based on just sex. now it is..its more excititng...lol

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