Educating Him

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Educating Him
7
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 10:56am

okay first brief up date on my little life. The first guy i was worried about is no more... I knew he didn't want serious. But my definition of not serious and his were a little too different. But (and i hope no one thinks less of me for this one) I found a new guy already... actually it's a friend i've known for a while who was apprently pretty upset when the other guy apeared in picture.

Now the problem is while he plays at being all worldly and knowledgable on all things sexual... it's become apprent really fast there's a few topics he knows NOTHING about. Now i may still be not super experienced but I know plenty.

So how do i educated him without injuring his ego? He's expressed an interest in reading my collection of sex books I'm wondering if that wouldn't be a good way to lead in to it.

k

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: kendalina
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 11:09am

Books are okay, but they are not going to tell him what YOU need.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: kendalina
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 11:45am

It's not a matter of technique or that kind of thing. What we've done i'm plenty happy with. It's a few choice topics that he just doesn't know a thing about. Anal sex for example he really likes the idea... but doesn't have a clue. I suspect given the basics he'll manage the rest just fine. It's just i know he's enjoying his 'great experienced (slighty) older guy' role here i don't want to spoil it for him by having to point out i know more then him.

I don't know... maybe i'm just being too nice and should just sit him down and explain things. But it's fun leting play that role.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
In reply to: kendalina
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 2:36pm
Maybe you can do research together. Tell him you would like to try, but you have also heard that it hurts if it isn't done correctly. Also see jhun story in Fantasy on Buttoned up Girls step out - the original. Great story and great lesson on anal.
Avatar for elainetwirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
In reply to: kendalina
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 3:37pm

You said, "So how do i educated him without injuring his ego? He's expressed an interest in reading my collection of sex books I'm wondering if that wouldn't be a good way to lead in to it."

It doesn't matter what it is, but if you are trying to teach a man something sexual I find the best way is always to show him. I have found that males learn better that way.

Elaine

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
In reply to: kendalina
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 7:46pm

Is this another FWB? You don't have to "educate" him about sex....that's a very "superior" attitude. He may be "experienced", but that does't equate knowledge.

What you BOTH need to understand is that every woman is different. He might have been with 100 women before you, but he might not have pleased any of them! And even if he did, whatever worked with them may not work with you!

You feel you know all there is to know about sex....but you don't. You know about what YOU like, and believe it or not, the older you get, the more you'll learn about yourself, too. What you need to do is rather than "educate" him about sex, "educate" him about YOU.....and what you want and like. If that puts his nose out of joint, then HE has an ego problem.....and you can't "teach" anyone who thinks they know it all.

You can bring up the subject of everyone being different, and you can ask him what HE likes, and at the same time, talk about what YOU like. Every new relationship IS an educaction, unless someone is so full of themselves that they think they have nothing left to learn.....and those are usually the ones who know nothing!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: kendalina
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 10:36pm
If you know more about a particular sex act than he does, then I don't see anything wrong with letting him know what you know.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: kendalina
Sat, 11-12-2005 - 8:56am

>>So how do i educated him without injuring his ego? He's expressed an interest in reading my collection of sex books I'm wondering if that wouldn't be a good way to lead in to it.<<

Kendalina,

I like the replies to you so far. I especially agree with what funone mentioned about researching . That is EXACTLY what Mrs. Para & I do, even if we do so through boards, including ones by IVillage.

Learning , IMHO, helps diffuse any "ego" issues and allows for more open discussion about issues that each is concerned about. Through our experience, THAT would be the way we suggest you go.

If he has an ego issue to begin with, then wisely pay attention to that red flag. Otherwise, enjoy learning ...too many benefits to ignore. Good luck to you. :)

 

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