emotional or psychological problem?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
emotional or psychological problem?
3
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 6:02pm

I can't orgasm from sex. Plain and simple as that. I have used every sex toy there is and alone, with my partner present or not, I can orgasm. But it just doesn't happen during intercourse.

As a result I fell that my boyfriend has lost interest in sex. I guess he knows I don't enjoy it so he doesn't even bother. I dunno. All I know is that I want to seek help so that this area of my life can improve. Should i see a therapist? Does any one know a good and affordable one in the NYC region? I need help and advise!

I guess I should mention that I was date raped by my at the time boyfriend. I was a virgin so my first experience with intercourse wasn't favorable. But to me this experience is as if it had never happened. I didn't allow it to get a hold of me or change me in the least. it's just something unfortunate that happened, like twisting an ankle. And i believe that the problem would've been there anyway since I was never able to orgasm from oral sex either. Any suggestions would be a big help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2008
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 8:27pm

First of all, I'm sooo sorry to hear that you were raped.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 2:14am

YOU need to understand a couple of things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 5:16pm

Could it be that your body is too used to the sensations of manual stimulation, be it toys, hands etc and it just doesn't respond to sensations/feel of actual intercourse. Perhaps you should lay off a little on the manual and toy stimulation and re train your body to enjoy the sensations and feel of intercourse.


Irrespective to the orgasms issue, I do belive that any unconsenting sexual attack should be counseled, whether you perceive it as "just something unfortunate that happened, like twisting an ankle" or otherwise.


I have to say though, I cant understand how some women say they cant enjoy sex without orgasms. Surely if

Photobucket