Erectile dysfunction, dealbreaker?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2006
Erectile dysfunction, dealbreaker?
13
Sat, 10-28-2006 - 2:13pm
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. We're very much in love. We've been talking about getting married - and I know more than anything I want to spend my life building a life with him. We have one constant issue in our relationship however. Since we first met, he's struggled with erectile dysfunction. He says it first started at the end of his last relationship. He's seen a doctor and takes Viagra. However, it doesn't always help. He seems to believe its a mental issue - he fears failure because it's happened so many times and when that happens we can't well you know. When we first met I was a virgin. Though he is doing the things recommended to overcome this issue, I fear he won't and I will never experience that mind-blowing sexual experience so many talk of. Anyone been in a similar situation? Is it possible to overcome this mental block he talks of?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2006
Sun, 10-29-2006 - 4:45pm
blackhillsgold.... your welcome... As far as his history goes.... at his age... it is probably more of a physical then mental thing. All part of the aging process. MOST men will have problems around that age from time to time EVEN if they lived the perfect life healthwise.... its all part of the natural aging process. The fact that he is a smoker puts him behind the eightball.... smoking helps to harden and narrow arteries... which is usually the culprit to physical problems down there... Those are some of the smallest arteries in our bodies... So imagine this... if someone has blockage in one of their MAIN arteries and has to under go say a bypass....... can you imagine what it has already done to those teeny little arteries? I would say he should go in for a checkup. A doctor can tell him whether or not an ED drug would be ok for him. Studies have also shown that ED is/can be a sign of something else coming on healthwise. I am not trying to scare you.... but it might be a good time to just go get a physical.. Good luck... and let us know how it goes...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2006
Sun, 10-29-2006 - 4:49pm
jessica... you are very welcome!!! Yeah... it can be tough to admit a problem such as this. It is a little easier to do it here obviously... It sounds like your head and heart are in the right place... Commincation is so big here! That is good that he can talk to you about it. Just remember, the bedroom is probably NOT the place to discuss this... at least if it is happening at that time.
There is SO MUCH more to sex for both partners that dont involve an erection.... and it can help to put more focus on the other aspects of sex and not just intercourse.... Let me know if you have any other questions... I will do my best...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2013
Tue, 05-06-2014 - 2:59am

With younger men, psychological problems are the likeliest reason for erectile dysfunction. Tension and anxiety may arise from poor communication with the sexual partner or a difference in sexual preferences. 

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