Erection problems....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2008
Erection problems....
1
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 4:48pm

This one is really doing a number on my self esteem...

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of almost three years because we've stopped having sex and no longer had that "passion" for each other...

I've now begun seeing someone new and it's been going absolutely great for something that started as a rebound...

When we first started having sex, we were just getting to know each other and it was amazing. The sexual attraction was unlike anything I've experienced before and we would end almost every night in bed having sex for hours...

We have been seeing each other for several months and have gotten to know each other a lot better, have gone on many great dates, have wonderful conversations, have met each other's friends, and cannot get enough of each other. However, the sex has suffered. When fooling around, he gets an erection but when we are ready to get down to business, he loses it. When we talked about it, he expressed that he was nervous about not pleasing me and it is completely "mental" meaning that he over-analyzes the situation and becomes anxious.

One time, I lost my temper a little bit but then apologized because I really want to make this work. The next time it happened, I lay close to him, kissed him, and told him that I am here for him no matter what and we will get through this.

He swears that it is not physical attraction and constantly reminds me how beautiful and sexy I am. He sends flowers, writes cards, calls to tell me he's thinking of me, and is very attentive to every little thing so I don't think that he has lost his attraction to me emotionally.

We have tried to get things going by fooling around and doing other things and just spending time laying in bed naked... but it has been to no avail.

I tell him that it's OK and that we will get through this but then get in my car and cry because I cannot help and think that it's me. I am VERY responsive to his touch and he is not at all to mine. It's devastating.

I want to know if there is such a thing as a mental/psychological block that prevents this from happening... I want to know if it is possible that for two very attractive people in their twenties, the mental wins over the physical. I also want to know if I should recommend he see a doctor.

Please help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 9:14pm

Welcome to the board, asteriagape.

Any time a guy is having Erectile Dysfunction (ED) seeing a doctor can rule out any possible medical causes. It's also possible to have psychological things contribute to ED .... so worrying that he's not pleasing you may very well be what's going on.

Here are some article on ED that might help you understand what's going on:

iVillage Total Health: Erectile Dysfunction Affects 18 Million US Men
http://health.ivillage.com/di/dinews/0,,wbnews_b6skrsst,00.html

Wikipedia: Erectile Dysfunction
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erectile_dysfunction

Net Doctor: Impotence
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/impotence.htm

Medicine Net: Causes of Impotence
http://www.medicinenet.com/impotence_ed/page2.htm#cause

Mayo Clinic: Erectile Dysfunction
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/erectile-dysfunction/DS00162/DSECTION=3

You may be able to find that several things could be contributing once you familiarize yourself with ED. Rarely is it about you in any way.



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