erections

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
erections
7
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 12:52pm

I started dating this guy about 3 months ago. It's been long distance so really we've only seen each other for like 4 long weekends.

I'm 25 and he's 28. He's still a virgin. And has had lots of problems getting/keeping an erection.

We haven't had sex yet. This past weekend was the first weekend we really tried. He's constantly telling me how beautiful I am and how much he loves me. I know it's not me causing the problem but I'm wondering what it is. He keeps saying he's just nervous. I don't know how to talk to him about it. So I just try to make it seem like it's not a big deal and whenever he's ready.

I know, I should ask him what I should do to make him feel better about it so that we can finally do it...but any ideas on what I can do?

He will ejaculate with stimulation... like dry humping.. but its still not all the way hard. And the other night he got harder put a thing on but wasn't hard enough to actually do anything.

could this be just because he is nervous as a virgin? and evenutally it'll work better? or could it be something that needs medicine to help?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: jessa5621
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 1:02pm

Welcome to the board jessa5621.

I would try to talk to him to see if he's had this problem in the past. Although he's a virgin, he may have had some sexual activity that resulted in the same problems. Also, is he able to get and maintain an erection during masturbation?

If he's able to get and maintain an erection during masturbation, then chances are he's having some psychological problems with actually having sex. That could just be "being nervous". If he's that nervous, it seems there would be other reasons. Perhaps he thinks he needs to remain a virgin, maybe he's struggling with his sexuality, perhaps it's something from his past. Only he can really answer those questions, but you can bring some of them up to see if any are contributing to his problems.

If he's not able to get and maintain an erection, even during masturbation, he really should talk to his doctor about it. Sometimes ED (Erectile Dysfunction) is a symptom of other medical problems. Regardless of what is causing the problem, or when it is occurring, his doctor can give him advice, and/or any necessary tests.

Good luck with everything, and let us know how it's going.










iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
In reply to: jessa5621
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 1:24pm

Chances are it's exactly what he says......he's nervous.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2007
In reply to: jessa5621
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 2:39pm

Hi Jessa,


I really feel for you. My boyfriend has the same problem (he's 38) and I have to say that I am not quite sure what to do about it either. I have asked this same question to some people in my life and here's what they said.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2007
In reply to: jessa5621
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 3:30pm
My dh is 25 and sometimes he can't keep an erection or has problems getting it up. Every morning he has a very hard erection so I know he fine in that department I think sometimes his body doesn't want to cooperate with his penis I think your bf is just nervous. Try giving him more foreplay.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2007
In reply to: jessa5621
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 4:03pm

Well, here's my $.02! You said "He got hard and put a thing on" - I'm guessing you were talking about a condom. This may be his first problem. I have a few suggestions. 1) Sit in his lap or on top of him and let him rub against you. You do not have to let him enter you without a condom - but, let him feel you without one. However be careful, if he is a virgin and you are wet this may cause him to have an orgasm because it can feel almost as good as sex for the guy. Then, you reach down and put

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: jessa5621
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 4:12pm
Welcome to the board ivil_newhusband, and thanks for joining in the conversation.









iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
In reply to: jessa5621
Thu, 10-04-2007 - 3:52pm

I had a Bf like this many moons ago.