Erections

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2004
Erections
3
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 10:20am
Hi, My man does not last very long. It doesn't matter what we do, regular intercourse or oral. It's just wham and he's done! Is there any over the counter products out there that really work? Or does anyone have any suggestions? I would ReaLLY like to have an orgasam but I don't want to start using "TOYS" I would rather him take care of me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: gal_robin
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 10:59am

First of all, have you tried enjoying orgasm through foreplay or just cunnilingus? Many women report SO often that stimulation rather than intercourse is THE way for them to enjoy that. It would only help you enjoy your sessions more if he or both of you focused on that more.

BEST advice for you that I can think of is to speak with the doc about it. No matter what nifty advice we can give you here, you just NEVER know what helpful and healthy tricks the doc might have anyway.

My very best guess right now would either be meds or health. The chances of men having such overly sensitive nerve endings at the penis tip while having some difficulty with blood flow all around are so high...that its such a wonder, IMHO, that we men are able to last as long as we normally do. Just my opinion.

Anyway, not sure we have enough detail from you to go on, but there's my two cents anyway. I'm just wondering how long this has been going on. Has he had this problem from any other relationship too? Is his overall health okay?, including cholestoral, etc.? Is he tired/exhausted often? Is he on meds? There a lot of factors that we don't know about, so its all best guessing around here, but you should have him ask his doc anyway, cause these MAY be symptoms of something serious without him even knowing it. Play it safe.

:)

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: gal_robin
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 2:03pm

As Para says, there can be lots of reasons for his "problem". The main one being that he just hasn't learned to control it yet, if he's young, and somewhat inexperienced. He CAN learn to last longer using the "stop and start" method. That just means that when it's about to happen, he has to STOP for a moment or two, till he gets it under control. Then he can start again. This isn't learned overnight, it takes a lot of practice.

In the meantime, you talk about HIM, and about oral....but what about what he does for you? Most women can and do have orgasms from foreplay, which has nothing to do with how long he lasts. Most of us have orgasms from clitoral stimulation BEFORE we ever get to intercourse, and he can do that for hours without reaching his own climax. If he goes too fast, then he and you have to make sure that you're satisfied before you start intercourse, or give him oral. Then you'll BOTH be happy. For most of us, just like in life, in sex it SHOULD be "ladies first".....because WE can go on forever....and when we're satisfied, then it's his turn.

Eventually, with practice, he can learn to last longer. Over the counter medications are NOT worth the money....they're not tested by the FDA, and they do NOTHING except possibly give him a little confidence....the placebo effect.

It wouldn't hurt him to see a doctor, just to be sure it's not physical, but in most cases, guys are too embarassed to talk about it, and in most cases, it IS mental/emotional not physical. Also, is he on any meds, like blood pressure meds, or anti depressants? Those can wreak havoc on a man's sex life. If that's the case, then he definitely needs to talk to the doctor that prescribed the meds.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: gal_robin
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 2:41pm

Nothing much to add from what Para and Greenteabag said.


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