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| Thu, 05-25-2006 - 3:05pm |
Frazzled. Explanation.
This is intended to come across as an explanation not hurtful. I am at a loss for words in how to explain something.
Due to not everyone reading the individual posts that I send-I decided to do this as a note. To those of you who respond to me.. I am 38 and highly educated and deep in thought person and I am not writing anything. this only for me.
You are not broken records. I am not anaytical and I have times where i am unable to express in clear complete sentences more due to time constraints than anything else. If you saw my ongoing dialogue which i am unable to do on here becuase -not the same person always responds on here, you would see that it is not analytical etc. The reason I dont say much is becuase I get responses like I am currently receiving about me in regards to me instead of on the actual sexual/sex whatever that I seek to have you respond about that I benefit in. ....
Please read other emails/posts for explanations.
I know other ones on here who are benefitting like I am with the group. I have also been reminded it is good not to post details. I am being vague about my background. I know about foreplay for an example -not sure how to finish this sentence. The guys ... have given different responses that have been helpful but also at the same time seeing a female response is helpful. I dont see myself as repeating although at times I can't ever tell. Even if I do repeat there is more response that I receive that is different than before.
Judith

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But Judith, it's the very ambiguity of your questions combined with the lack of info. you're willing to provide about yourself that makes attempting to answer your posts so frustrating and difficult.
And they are such basic questions that it seems you should be able to figure out the answers yourself....just from living life.
I understand that trauma can stall a person's development to a degree, but just asking someone how a sexual act, etc. feels is so arbitrary and relative to their experience. How is that going to help you? It doesn't tell you how YOU might feel at all.
And there is no way that anyone is going to read ALL the responses you've given since you've been on this board! I've tried and I still can't say that I understand.
I hope that you are getting some kind of counseling or therapy to deal with the trauma you say you experienced though.
I dont need counseling. I am sorry. But I would think on a board like this I have the liberty to say what I can or not bout me... Please Just take for what I say and let it go at that. Why not email me privately? why wont you? AGain this has helped me more ...
What I seek to have help with is what can't be responded to about me. Yes again the responses have helped.
Judith
I agree with katmandoo2001. Anyone who has been the victim of any sort of sexual assault would benefit from counseling.
You said you were "hurt sexually" when you were a minor. You are nearly 40 years old, and yet your questions about sex are almost child-like in nature. You seem to have little or no knowledge of the physical or emotional aspects of sex. This leads one to believe that you may not have ever had a healthy sexual relationship. If that's the case, I can't imagine how you could think that you don't need some sort of counseling. You can't blame posters on this board for being frustrated, perplexed, and concerned about your situation.
What's wrong with counseling? My DH and I have been in counseling before and found it tremendously helpful for our marriage.
If I had been "sexually injured" as you have, I would not hesitate to ask for help. Particularly, if this trauma was preventing me from having a fulfilling sex life with someone I loved. There is no shame in asking for help.
Hi,
Sorry for your trauma whatever it was.
I just wanted to let you know that I haven't been reading your posts because you're headings are too general and it is hard to tell one discussion apart from another. It also makes it hard to decide whether it is a topic I might be interested in. Can you please give a more descriptive and precise heading in the future.
I can't because the ivillage board doesn't leave you room to write much. In side I am not always sure what to put as the subject matter. I will try.
I am not sure I understand what you mean by one from another.?
Judith
I am not saying there is anything wrong with counseling. I dont need it and this is helping me more than counseling ever would.
Judith
I am not blaming anyone for anything. I am just explaining about me. and this is helping me more than counseling ever would.
Sorry my questions sound childlike but I dont intend for it to..
Judith
>>I am not anaytical and I have times where i am unable to express in clear complete sentences more due to time constraints than anything else.<<
Then please find the time. Or ask your question when you have thought carefully about how you want to compose it.
It is very helpful for us to have a clear, specific and well composed question. For example, a Doctor cannot help you very much if you simply say that you feel unwell. If you can describe any pain or sensations that you have and the location of the pain that is helpful to the Doctor. If you are not eating or have lost your appetite, this also is helpful to the Doctor. We are the same. The more information that we have from you, the more helpful we can be.
>>I have also been reminded it is good not to post details.<<
Please elaborate. If you mean that you have been reminded of the dangers of the internet and posting personal details, the personal details that these people refer to are details like your real name, your address and telephone numbers and other personally identifying information. They do *not* mean personal information like thoughts, feelings and experiences. Telling us whether or not you are interested in a specific man, or whether or not you have actually had a sexual relationship are details that you CAN safely post.
>>I am 38 and highly educated and deep in thought person<<
You should understand that we are frustrated because you continually ask vague questions and usually the answers to those questions are obvious because by 38 years of age a person will have EXPERIENCED the feelings and emotions and sensations for themselves and have drawn their own conclusions about those things for themselves.
When we do try to answer, you ask another equally vague question and refuse to provide any information that may help us make our answers more useful to you specifically.
I'm glad that we are helping you, but we still feel very frustrated.
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