to everyone who replied

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2006
to everyone who replied
1
Mon, 09-03-2007 - 4:06pm
thank you for all your input. i guess i didn't really think of the problem being me. but it's all good. cause like you said it's all about the pleasure. and i have had orgasms with him before so it's not like i didn't ever. we have a very active sex life 2 to 3 times a day. and we are very serious about our realtionship. so i think i'll just have to talk to him. i'm just not very good at bringin the subject up. so question is how do i start the conversation. and i agree if he found out i was usin my toy i know he would be mad. please help me again?? thank you...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 09-03-2007 - 10:08pm

The best thing would be to talk to him outside of the bedroom and use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. Saying things like "I need extra stimulation" or "I can't get my head into the game" is usually more effective. If he feels like he is being attacked or like he needs to be defensive, he'll shut down and not really listen or communicate.

Here are a few articles that you might find helpful too:

Speak Up! Ask Him for What You Want
http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproblems/lnscommunicate/0,,7ffztdxn,00.html

How can I get my guy to listen?
http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproblems/lnscommunicate/0,,guystellall_9nmljwsn,00.html

Get Through to Your Man: 5 Tips for Better Communication
http://love.ivillage.com/lnm/lnmgetcloser/0,,84s,00.html

Keep us posted on how things are going.



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