extramarital question
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| Tue, 06-28-2005 - 6:38pm |
DW and I have been together for 10 years. Before we met, I had several long relationships where the sex was great. My relationship with DW is good, but she has always been against oral sex, both giving and receiving. Nothing I have said or done has made a difference.
I never mentioned this to anyone until a good friend started talking about her husband, and recently she mentioned that she missed having someone go down on her, because her husband wouldn't do that. About the third time she mentioned this to me, I told her I enjoyed doing this, but DW was against it, and I hadn't enjoyed the taste of a woman in over ten years. Shortly after I mentioned this she proposed that we get together to mutually satisfy each other orally.
I would never want anything to interfere with my family, but I am interested in doing this because I miss going down on a woman. She says this can be a no commitment relationship. I suppose my question is, do you think that what she says is possible, and can I count on someone being discreet like I need them to?

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I feel your pain in your posting...it's not easy to live feeling that you are being cheated out of some level of happiness.
My advice...
1) No on the "Oral Affair"
2) Demand sex counseling, inform DW of your desires and the fact that you even considered 1)
3) If 2) doesn't work, and there is no hope of being fulfilled, then divorce.
An unfulfilled life, is an unhappy one...and you only get one try.
Anthing that more than one person knows about, is no longer a secret.
Do not do this, it WILL end your marriage.
The man is married and might have children (not sure if he mentioned kids or not).
How about if you manually stimulate your wife and then lick your fingers? You can manually stimulate her intermittently and then bring your fingers up to your mouth. While doing this keep your eyes closed and fantasize that you're licking her clitoris and vulva instead. That should satisfy you somewhat(at least you'll get to taste her). Fantasy can be an extremely powerful tool and can seem almost "real." I do it all of the time. I love fellatio and since DH can't be at two places at one time, I sometimes fantasize during intercourse(recall what just transpired a few minutes prior) and it brings me to an orgasm quickly. When there's a will, there's a way.
Please don't cheat. If you really can't live without it and you're becoming resentful, communicate how you feel and just HOW important this is to you. MAKE her understand it. If she still can't and you want to explore this aspect of your life, then leave her first out of respect for her. Just know that if she UNDERSTANDS just how detrimental this is to you and she STILL doesn't budge, it's most likely something that she feels very strongly about and she's just not "holding out" to punish you. She loves you. People who love WANT to give to and make happy and make sacrifices for those they love. At least let her keep her dignity....by cheating you steal that from her.
Edited 7/1/2005 7:02 pm ET ET by rain_dancer_iam
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