Facials?!?!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2007
Facials?!?!?
14
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 6:13pm

This guy I've been seeing for a few weeks, he's really into a thing I've read about here, that being facials. Is this normal? I mean he did it on our first date, i wasn't ready for vaginal sex but we did oral and with me laying on the bed he kind of knelt over my head and came all over my face and neck ... quite intentionally! But then later even when we'd started having sex he would do it. Maybe 10% of the time he cums inside me, otherwise it's another facial ...

He even asked me a few times to put on my sunglasses and came on them -- I couldn't think of any particular reason to say no. But it's not that intimate, he usually masturbates for a couple of minutes dipping it into my mouth when he needs more saliva, then holds it several inches away and just lets fly. He is so so so nice to me after even though it feels a little wierd with cum in your hair and all over your face but that's how things generally end up. Is this normal? He's certainly a keeper of a bf, a really really nice smart guy who delights me albeit pretty rough in bed, especially compared to my ex.

Last night he did this exact thing again, he was holding it far away and sperm ended up on everything. And that was my guestroom lol. Anyhow, all I want to know is does this mean he is a pervert or abnormal or something. It doesn't bother me, I wouldn't say his taste is very strong, and if this is a normal thing, I'll breathe a sign of relief because I am developing feelings for this guy and i love having sex with him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
In reply to: size0
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 6:44pm
I think this is the type of things a lot of guys have fantasies about, but not all women will let them do it. YOu have to remember that if it makes you uncomfortable, you need to tell him. If it's something you're okay with, then it's fine. I know it seems unromantic, but you might lay a towel or blanket on the bed under you if you're worried about them mess. When I've let my DH do it, we've been in the shower, or just about to take a shower so that I can immediatly clean up the mess. If it's going to be extremely inconvient for you, like it's mid-afternoon or something, just let him know "no facial" but if you don't mind it and it seems like something that really excites him, then there is nothing abnormal about it, at least in my opinion.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2006
In reply to: size0
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 7:49pm

I don't think we can say one thing is normal and another isn't. I think it all depends on the comfort level of both persons involved. If you don't feel comfortable doing it (for whatever reason) then don't do it. I think he probably shouldn't have just assumed that you would like it, but maybe he was with someone that enjoyed it so he just grew to do it automatically. We can't really say if he's being a pervert or degrading (unless he probably shoved you to the ground and did it in your eye or something like that).

My bf does it to me (I was the one who brought it up in the first place) and I absolutely love it. He doesn't get it in my hair or my eye (it got in my eye accidentally once, horrible feeling) and I don't feel degraded in any way by how it's done. If you don't mind doing it, but mind getting it in your hair or anywhere else then tell him.

Good Luck

Princess

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: size0
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 8:31pm

Welcome to the board :-)

Each couple sets the rules in their relationship, so there really isn't a 'normal' when it comes to preferred sex acts. If this is something that you both enjoy and are comfortable with, then it's 'normal' for you in that relationship.

Facials can be fun, but remember that you can speak up and let him know what you like or don't like. There may be times that you want a more romantic encounter or have reasons to not want to get as messy (like in the guest room). In my relationship, DH only gives me a facial if I give him an approval (which isn't always spoken). I have also been known to say no hair or eyes (especially the eyes because it stings), so then it's more like on my chin and neck.

Anyway, if you both enjoy what you are doing, then there is nothing wrong with it.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2004
In reply to: size0
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 8:32pm
We do it all the time. I think he just likes the feeling of using his hands (he uses both lol) and seeing it shoot out and whatnot. Same as you, he's not aiming for anything in particular ... he used to aim and get it all on my tongue, now it's from farther away and it goes everywhere. It's hardly the end of the world, some guys just love it. But if you regularly do this near furniture and stuff (rather than your bed where you change the sheets) over time you will find it gets really stained. Not too easy to fully get that stuff out of the fabric. He came a ton on my navy blue couch last summer and it was only when we had guests over that I noticed there was a ton of cum that had drooled down the front toward the floor ... don't really look there too much ... not exactly attractive. You could use a towel or whatever, but it's not exactly a spontaneous thing then.


Edited 4/13/2007 8:34 pm ET by iphillippa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: size0
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 8:35pm
Welcome to the board lwsmomma. Thanks for joining in!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
In reply to: size0
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 9:31am

If you dont mind the facials, theres nothing wrong with doing them, or with him for wanting to do it. The only alarm bell/red flag is that he wants to do it the majority of the time and while you dont mind it, you say its not that intimate. I take that to mean you would like sex to be just a little bit more intimate. The facial itself may not be the problem, but that he does it all the time. To me, any act that he HAS to do could become a problem. Are you looking for a relationship where the sex is 90% facials, and 10% inside you? thats the question you need to be asking yourself.

In my case, the answer would be hell no! For me there's nothing better than us doing it together, at the same time or right after each other, and inside me! It doesnt have to happen everytime, but certainly more than 10% of the time. So, thats one of my standards/requirements to make me happy. What are yours?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2007
In reply to: size0
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 2:06pm
My requirements to make me happy? I guess mine are a little less centered on where he decides to ejaculate as the basis of our relationship. He's a really really good guy, he has stood by me through some difficult times, he has challenged me and been nice to me and now I'm in such a better place it's ridiculous. In contrast to my ex, who treated me as an androgynous being and had me doing chores and dismal things, this guy treats me like a woman and his personal whore and pays close attention to my needs all day long. Plus he challenges me - I mean in a good way. It's like a drug, but it has been a constant thing. Everyone is giving me huge compliments as to how I look these days, and how he has me dress, and just how I seem like I have a full personality again. I guess I just feel like if I can turn him on so much that's a good thing ... I have just gotten a ton of facials over the past few months ... and the trend shows no sign of decreasing lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2007
In reply to: size0
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 5:10pm

I think every guy loves seeing his "work" displayed on a chick, but every women has there own preference. Some ladies like it and some hate it right? I happen to LOVE swallowing cum and like rubbing it all over my breast and stuff he'll REALLY love that, but some women hate it. Hes not a pervert, he's a guy! If you dont like it then tell him. Sperm makes my skin clearer and soft too and it gives you about a tablespoon of protien if you swallow so Id be for it,but like I said cum is a preference.

BTW: Do you like the taste? If not you can slowly let it drip out your mouth while hes cumming on your face so it looks sexier then all rude with like hawking it up and spitting it out ya know?




Edited 4/14/2007 5:18 pm ET by crazed_blonde
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: size0
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 10:27pm

In my opinion I don't think that it matters too much if he's great guy outside the bedroom, you are still allowed to have a preference over the number of facials that you are getting. I mean, you don't have to put up with one thing just because you feel that he goes out of his way in other areas. If its something that you don't enjoy then it will have an effect down the track. Maybe not now, but if you're not enjoying it then you will eventually begin to try to avoid it. Perhaps it might be better to talk about it now before it's a problem as such?

I don't think that his thing with facials is *too* crazy or weird. It does sound a little excessive to me if he cums that way 90% of the time - but hey! Different strokes for different folks. There are certainly plenty of guys out there that like them and quite a few women like them too. Regardless of what other people are doing, it's really up to you and how you feel about it. It sounds like you could do with them less often so I see no harm in talking to him about it and expressing you preference - after all, he's obviously quite happy to do what he wants :-)

Interestingly enough, I think that a big part of the enjoyment of facials for a guy is a control thing. Ejaculating onto a woman asserts his dominance and can be a boost to the ego in a subtle way. It sounds like it's one part of his personality where it shows - you mentioned that he enjoys challenging you and he has gotten you to dress differently. Sounds like a certain amount of control there to me. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Just an observation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: size0
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 7:45am
It sounds like you are the submissive half of a BDSM relationship. Many people enjoy this type of play in the bedroom, and many people live this way in & out of the bedroom. It's fine to be in that type of a relationship if you realize that is what you are doing -- and you enjoy being in that relationship. As the dominant partner, a large part of his motivation should still be your enjoyment, so if you decide that you would prefer less facials, then you should feel free discussing that with him.


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