Fantasizing about a guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2004
Fantasizing about a guy
20
Thu, 12-30-2004 - 11:56pm
This may be a little too forward for some people, but every night I fantasize about having sex with this guy from a sandwich shop I go to every now and then. We talk whenever I go in there and I leave with a huge smile on my face. I've liked him for some time and have never really asked about his love life, but he's attractive to me and I'm most positive I'm attractive to him. Do you think I'm ruining a potential good relationship by fantasizing about having intercourse with him every night?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 12:53am

Attractive, and attracted, two different things. You feel that you're attractive to him, but is he attracted to you?.....two different things. I find many people attractive, but I'm not "attracted" to them. If he is attracted to you, then he would do more than talk to you when you come into his shop. He'd ask you if you were in a relationship, and if not, if you'd like to meet him sometime.

I don't see where there's a "potential relationship"....and even if there is.....how would he know about any fantasies that you might have.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 8:41am

If you like him, why not get into a conversation about him, is he married, in a relationship, etc. and go from there.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 10:11am
A different angle.. Do you mean you have fantasies about him nightly WHILE you are with your current partner? If so , that may not be the healthiest thing for your current relationship.It opens the door in your mind for a decision change.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 10:28am
Good point

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2004
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 9:22pm
No way! I'm not in a relationship right now, nor have I ever been. I'm 18 years old and unfortunately, haven't had the experience I would like with a guy..that's why I "fantasize" since I can't exactly act on my thoughts since I have nobody to act with at the moment. And there's always room for a potential relationship, because everyone has the potential to be in a good or bad one. It's the already having a relationship that takes out the potential. Sorry if I've confused anyone, I'm just trying to make sense out of my feelings for this guy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 9:43pm

Well then since you talk to him, why not ask him if he's seeing anyone and if not, ask him out.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2004
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 10:17pm
Thanks for your input. You're right, there's no harm in asking if he's seeing anyone, (which I'm positive he's not) and asking him out. It's the scrounging up the courage part that's going to be the hardest aspect of going for this potential relationship. Ugh, I wish there was someone who could do it for me or find out all these things, being shy is such a bugger. I've never done this before! I sound like a little school girl, but help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2004
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 10:54pm
Talk to him, make it a light conversation. Ask what kind of movies he likes, then ask if he'd like to go to the movies.
Good luck!
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-03-2005 - 2:38pm

I agree with greenteabag that being attracted to someone doesn't mean that they feel the same or are necessarily interested in doing anything about it! But I think it's pretty normal to imagine being intimate with someone you're very sexually attracted to.

He MAY think you're attractive but that doesn't mean anything unless he cares enough to act on it. We all see attractive people all day long but other circumstances have to be right to make a move....like being unattached.

Don't assume that there's anything more than an innocent flirtation going on. IF he was free, and if he was attracted, then he likely would have asked you out by now, wouldn't he? IF he's the shy type, then you'll have to be the one to take the risk and ask.

But remember, some people just enjoy flirting, it's good for business.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2004
Mon, 01-03-2005 - 4:24pm
Well, it looks like I might be making a mountain out of a mole hill by the way your responses have indicated. I've only really talked with the guy a few times, and already I'm thinking there could be more to it. I'm just a girl looking for attention, I guess. As for the attracted, attractive perspective, I'm attracted to him and have certainly gotten all the signs that he's attracted to me, as in potentially going for me, (if that makes any sense.) We obviously flirt with each other and every time I leave, he has a look of desperation on his face as if to say "Don't leave!" So, for me, that's enough to prove that we're both attracted to each other.

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