Fantasizing about a guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2004
Fantasizing about a guy
20
Thu, 12-30-2004 - 11:56pm
This may be a little too forward for some people, but every night I fantasize about having sex with this guy from a sandwich shop I go to every now and then. We talk whenever I go in there and I leave with a huge smile on my face. I've liked him for some time and have never really asked about his love life, but he's attractive to me and I'm most positive I'm attractive to him. Do you think I'm ruining a potential good relationship by fantasizing about having intercourse with him every night?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 01-03-2005 - 4:33pm
Well then you have 2 choices.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Mon, 01-03-2005 - 4:55pm

Hey booboo,

As an 18 year old, you are pretty much a school girl :0). No need to feel like it's a problem...we have all been 18 and know what it's like.

Worst case scenario the guy doesn't say yes to going out with you...so what...he's not going out with you now so you are no worse off. Be bold and ask!

As far as fantasies go, most relationships begin in the phase whether you are 18 or 80...in other words we all do it and still have relationships.

Good luck sweetheart!
Scott.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-03-2005 - 5:35pm
I think you're still assuming too much on his part though. Most likely he IS probably attracted to you but until he makes a move beyond that and asks you out, he's just flirting with no real intent. As I mentioned before, SOME people just enjoy flirting and will flirt with practically anyone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2004
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 12:18am
That's true, as far as I know, I could be the tenth girl that day that he flirts with on a regular basis. Wow, that certainly puts a damper on things. He just doesn't seem like that kind of person though, he seems very genuine and kind, not someone who enjoys playing games with girl's minds. I'm sure he doesn't take the kind of interest in other girls as he does me, if that were true, he would never be able to keep a girlfriend for more than a month. But, I'm still new to the whole dating thing, and having fantasies are normal for an 18 year old girl or any woman, for that matter. I should just wait for the right guy to come into my life, but I just really want someone to be affectionate with, someone I care about and who cares about me.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 2:00am

Please understand, I'm not insinuating that this guy is doing anything wrong or being dishonest in any way with his flirting. He's JUST flirting and so far, from what you've described, he's not crossing the line even if he does have a GF. Flirting makes the flirtee and the flirter feel good so even if there's no serious attraction there, it still has benefits as long as both understand that it means nothing.

Just be realistic, though, this is a person you only know from limited circumstances, and you know next to nothing about him. The only way to know more is to ask him to meet you outside of his workplace and find out if he's got a GF and what his flirting means.

"I'm sure he doesn't take the kind of interest in other girl's as he does me." Once again, you're making assumptions. There's no way you can possibly know that since many girls find flirting, ONLY, harmless and do it themselves.

IF you are fantasizing about this guy, then do something about it and ask him out for lunch.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 11:17am
By all means, fantasize about the guy. Having good sexual experiences is important, and fantasizing is a prt of that. Now for the reality world, here's my suggestion. Go to the shop when you know he will be getting off work. Most people have a different attitude at quitting time, and if he's into you, you'll know whether or not his flirting is just a work thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2004
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 3:58pm

Good advice you guys, thanks for your point of views. If I want to further this flirting and take it to the next level, I should ask him what time he gets off work and maybe ask him out somewhere. But, since we're both flirting with each other, do you think it's a bad idea to wait for him to do the asking out? Of course, if I want to find out if there's anything more to this flirting, I would do the asking out. But, not making any assumptions, I know he's interested in me and everytime I go in there he always likes to talk to me for at least 10 minutes. So, if I have faith, he will eventually ask me out one of these days.

As far as the fantasies go, I don't really fantasize about him everynight as in having sex with him, I usually think just about being with him

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 4:02pm
No harm in asking him out or waiting and continuing the flirting. It all depends on what you're comfortable with. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 4:04pm

Dear booboo,

The best way to screw something up is to overanalyze it. Just be bold and accept whatever happens. Sometimes it's better to just jump into a cold lake than to stick your toe in first. Just do it.

Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2004
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 7:32pm
Ha, right. Or in other words, I talk too much. Thanks!

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