feeling frustrated

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2005
feeling frustrated
2
Sun, 11-04-2007 - 11:23pm

I have a little problem with my boyfriend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 7:16am

You talk to him outside the bedroom.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 8:29am

Out of curiosity, did you talk to him when you felt it was just "wham bam, thank you mam"? It seems as if the two of you are concentrating on foreplay only, which is an odd place for a guy to go after being the wham bam man. If he went there on his own, he either sensed your frustration, or he is having physical problems that are making it difficult for him to do everything?

I agree with Tish, you need to sit and have a conversation with him outside of the bedroom. You can't expect him to be a mind-reader. Perhaps that's what he's been trying to do, and as you see, it's not working out so well. Let him know that you enjoy penetrative sex. You might find that he really enjoys oral sex (or some other type of stimulation). If that's the case, it can still occur after penetration. I think in most healthy relationships, things are mixed in the bag. Sometimes, it's all about the foreplay, other times, it's just a quickie for penetration, most times, it's a combination of more than one thing.

Don't be afraid to suggest things "outloud" when the two of you are in bed either. It's fun to feel like a guy really knows you -- and what you want, but the reality is, you'll have more fun if you speak up and give him a chance to respond. It will also take a lot of pressure off of him, which should make sex more enjoyable for him too. Find your sultry voice, and use it at the right time to tell him you want to feel him inside of you. Just be prepared -- it might send him over the edge a little quicker than you would like!







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