Feeling sexy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Feeling sexy
10
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 8:30pm
Ladies!
If you're feeling like your body isn't in the best shape, how do you feel sexy? I'm dating someone new, and while we haven't been intimate yet (only been dating for a few weeks), I find myself terrified about how he'll feel about my body. I'm most self-conscious about my lower belly pooch! I can't seem to get rid of it. I've lost 25 lbs over the past year, and people always tell me how great I look. I wear clothes that flatter my body; however, I don't like the way I look naked. He thinks I'm beautiful; however, he's never seen me without clothes. Has anyone out there ever had this problem?
Any input/advice/stories would be appreciated. Guys, you're welcome to reply too!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
In reply to: mali2579
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 12:46am

I don't think there's a woman alive that hasn't had the same thoughts....even those with "perfect" bodies.

If he truly cares about you, he's not going to care about your imperfections.....because everyone has them. You haven't seen him naked either, so what if he has a less than perfect body......are you going to give him the rasberries and leave?

Your sex drive doesn't originate in your belly......it's lower, and if those parts work, then you've got it made! That's all he'll be interested in.

Really and truly, sex has less to do with your body than it does with your brain, and if you FEEL sexy, you'll BE sexy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2006
In reply to: mali2579
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 3:53am

Little belly pooch?

Don't worry, most guys like women with flesh, not just bones. I do anyway =D

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
In reply to: mali2579
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 9:33am
I can find something beautiful, sexy, erotic about any female. The look in her eyes, a beautiful face, the swell of her breasts, shape and size of her nipples, the curves of her butt, a tummy pooch, the appearance of her vagina etc. To me, most women, big or small have features about them that turn me on when I see them naked. I have found a belly pooch to be incredibly sexy. My DW is not in as good of shape as she wants to be, including a bit of a tummy, but she is still the sexiest woman in the world to me, especially when she is naked. When the time comes for you to be intimate with your new friend just go for it, be confident and don't be ashamed of any aspect of your body. The female body is one of the greatests works of art ever created. Display your beauty proudly and I am sure you will get a positive response. If you don't, he isn't worth your time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2005
In reply to: mali2579
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 9:34am
A nude woman's body has great beauty. If your SO says he thinks you're beautiful, take what he says to heart. On a slightly unrelated issue, different men find different women's bodies more appealing. Enjoy! David.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
In reply to: mali2579
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 5:15pm

I know I'm not fat, I'm not skinny either though. My sides bug the crap out of me, they're one of the things I would change about my body if I could. There's other things I'm really self conscious about and my boyfriend doesn't mind any of them. Actually, he said he likes my sides because it's better than being skin and bones. Your guy thinks you're beautiful, so don't worry about it! I'm sure everything will go just fine. =]

Amy

**Amy**

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
In reply to: mali2579
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 7:58pm

Hello Mali,

Most people have something they are not sure aboput showing to someone else.

I doubt you have a major problem anywherer that will make a significant divfference to this man.

Some options for you to consider:

Remove his glasses or contacts. LOL

Dim the lights! LOL

Apply booze. LOL

Wait till he has arose before disrobing. LOL

And the best would be to put something else you have in front of his eyes and or maybe his tounge. That of course would be your choice, moist lips of some sort, above or below it doesn't matter which, or kitty or t-ty. LMAO

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2006
In reply to: mali2579
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 12:27am

Good answer =P

Recognising what you perceive as shortcomings is fine, and maybe benifical, if working on them helps improve your self-esteem and body image. But as long as you're healthy, and your relationship is healthy, rest assured that your partner will love every curve and bump =D

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
In reply to: mali2579
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 1:11am

@ my highest weight of 196lbs (5'2"), I spent 9 years celibate because of my fear of being with man at that size.

Only after losing 20 pounds was I became comfortable to share my naked body with a man. And I've had a great man for over 2 years. After our first time together, I asked "so you're not turned off by body" and this was his reply: "Your size is not an issue for me, sex is all about how I feel towards someone. I've had sex with skinny females and it was boring because I didn't have any feelings for her. I've had sex with fatter females than you and some of it was great, some of it not so great, again, solely because of what I felt towards each female. Sex is not about body size, for me it's all about the person." His reply allowed me to free myself of my bad self-image and for the first time in 13 years, I feel sexy, even @ 170lbs. However, the best reply to your question was said by a male poster who wrote something like: Any woman who wants to get naked with me is sexy and beautiful regardless of her size.

So try to open yourself up to accept that he sees you with completely different eyes than yours and allow his visions of you to change your persective of you! It's amazing journey if you allow it to happen. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
In reply to: mali2579
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 8:10am

Thank you very much for your insight. You (and all the other posters) have helped me begin to gain the confidence that I need to feel sexy with this man. When we do decide to take our relationship to that level of intimacy, I hope that it will be able to be free, allowing myself to enjoy the experience, and not focus so much on how he sees me.

Thank you, again.

Mali

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
In reply to: mali2579
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 1:36pm
I understand how you feel. I am heavier, taller and older than my DH and when I first met my husband, I was even heavier than I am now, about 40-50lbs heavier! Our first sexual encounters together I wore teddies that had snap crotches and it's nothing to slip your arms out from the straps. With a teddie, my middle section was covered and the soft fabrics were easy on the skin (both mine and his). This helped me allot.