female fantasy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
female fantasy
14
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 8:25pm
I have met a woman I am attracted to, and I am also a woman. We are both married. I am getting a vibe but am not sure if it's one for sex or friendship. I don't want to risk it if it's just a friendship vibe, but quite frankly I'd like the intimacy. What do I do? Someone help me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
In reply to: justme7866
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 9:29pm
Not enough info yet, does your husband know and how does he feel about this?

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
In reply to: justme7866
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 9:50pm
He does not know. We are separated right now, so there's not a basis for telling him, either.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
In reply to: justme7866
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 9:55pm
Is your friend also seperated from her husband? If you two are both unattached, perhaps you can test the water. See if she is even curious about a same sex encounter.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
In reply to: justme7866
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 10:21pm
Thanks for taking the time to help me out. What I'm wondering is how to test the water without causing ripples if it isn't warm.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
In reply to: justme7866
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 10:32pm
I didn't mean ask her if she was interested in one with you specifically. I know that when the guys aren't around, my sisters and friends tend to open up about sex. Perhaps she will say something that would let you know she is into the same sex thing, and then you'll know whether or not to go any further. Perhaps you could start very subtlely, like touching her hair. If she says something about that being weird, then you'll know she's not ineterested.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
In reply to: justme7866
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 10:36pm
This is excellent advice. Thanks so much. I will try to work up the courage to touch the hair. I feel so weird about laying out on the line.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
In reply to: justme7866
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 7:32am
Can you (a) just flirt a little with her, or (b) when you're just chatting, particularly if you're chatting about sex, say something like "I've been so horny since and I split up. I've even been wondering what I'd be like to be with a woman."

Then gauge her reaction. THEN I think you'll know whether to go for it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
In reply to: justme7866
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 10:06am
mmmmm.......that could be delicious! Thanks for the excellent suggestion. I love these great ideas.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
In reply to: justme7866
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 11:31am
ugh! i can totally feel where you're coming from... i'm totally straight, but once i found myself very attracted to a female friend...(granted it was college where this sort of thing is more likely to happen AND i was significantly less cool about it)...but we started talking about different kinds of sex we'd had- things we've never done and would like to try...and one of us brought up wanting to be with a woman to see what it would be like....

needless to say some time (and lots of wine) later- we were hookin up! it only happened that one time- but i'm really glad i had that chance to experiment! altho, something to think about- there was a little weirdness afterwards. it seemed that experience made me more sure that while women are DAMN fine sexy creatures, i preferred men- and for her this settled that she was in fact a lesbian, something she'd been struggling with. so there was a period of adjustment- but we did stay friends...

it's hard, and i'm sure harder since there are other relationships in the mix...but good luck!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
In reply to: justme7866
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 12:10pm
I love your story! Thanks so much for sharing about your experience so candidly. I really appreciate the insight that you have just given me. It sounds like this approach might truly work. Do you know what I anticipate the most if it does? The flood of passion that I just know is going to explode inside of me. It is a hunger, and I am starving. Going slowly will be a controlled effort for me. I hope we can make physical contact. I hope she's not completely straight.

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