female fantasy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
female fantasy
14
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 8:25pm
I have met a woman I am attracted to, and I am also a woman. We are both married. I am getting a vibe but am not sure if it's one for sex or friendship. I don't want to risk it if it's just a friendship vibe, but quite frankly I'd like the intimacy. What do I do? Someone help me.

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Avatar for sugarbeat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: justme7866
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 12:38pm
i've rejected advances from a female friend before. i found her attractive and had fantasized about being with her, but the friendship was too important to me and i didn't want to mess it up. i had been with a woman before, and would have gotten together with my friend if we weren't as close. sex changes things, and if i thought i wanted to be in a relationship with her i may have done it, but i knew it was just sexual expirimentation and it wasn't worth it for me to muddy things up just for thrills. i was flattered by her advances, but politely declined them. we never mentioned it afterwards, and it had no effect on our friendship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
In reply to: justme7866
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 12:49pm
Thanks for those words about what happened with you. As you can tell, I keep checking the board for information. I just wish there was a way of telling about a person without having to ask or risk things.
Avatar for sugarbeat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: justme7866
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 1:51pm
my point was that even if you ask or risk, it may not be a big deal. the others gave you some good tips to feel out the situation before you decide to act. but in all relations, whether with the same or opposite sex you face the risk of rejection. that's partially what makes it so exciting.

how 'bout having a movie night. have some drinks and watch Bound (say a friend recommended it) and see what the vibe is like.

Bound (1996)

Starring: Jennifer Tilly, Gina Gershon

Synopsis: Offbeat, sexy neo-noir thriller about lesbian lovers planning to rob mob boss. Critics raved about its taut direction, compelling performances, relentless pace. Keeps noir lovers/nail-biter fans glued to their seats.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
In reply to: justme7866
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 5:16pm
Your stories were so nice, and I appreciate everyone's suggestions and help when I needed it most. Things will stay as they are. I have decided this: the friendship is not worth risking. I have to channel my thoughts about her into friendship only. I can do this. What I can't do is embarrass her or insult her in any way. I think what happened is that she has an extremely appealing personality, and I got caught up in that at a time when it is easy for me to mistake the messages I get from others. My weakness is that I tend to see the person, and not the gender or other classifying features. I would be making a huge mistake to initiate anything - but if she initiates, of course, I wouldn't reject her advances. Thanks again for all of your time and wisdom.

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