First time

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2013
First time
1
Mon, 03-11-2013 - 9:00pm

Hello,

I am 29 years old and me and my fiance have been dating for almost 3 years. We have never had sex. It will be our first time, but I think I may have a problem. That problem is when I was dating my ex, we were playing around (we did not have sex) and I think he may have broken my hymen. I was wearing underwear and so was he so I think it was pretty weird. So I guess my question is, what am I suppose to say when we have sex for the first time and I do not bleed? I never had sex before ever (skin on skin) so I don't want him to think I lied to him. When my hymen did break, it didn't bleed that much, so would I bleed again?

Let me add some more details, *if* it did break, how would I know, would I know? It was very foolish of me to do that back then. My finace says that I am pretty tight down there, so could it not be broken and could it just have torn a little bit?


Please help.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
In reply to: DebbieZ84
Tue, 03-12-2013 - 12:53am

Debbie-

Hi. First, I doubt he'll doubt you're not a virgin if you don't bleed your first time. In Western society (as opposed to say the Islamic world), practically no 29 year old woman will say she's a virgin when she isn't.

Exercise--gymnastics and horseback riding in particular--can weaken the hymen so there is no pain or blood. Also, if you've been fingered, used tampons, or had certain gynecological procedures. Finally, some girls are born with minimal to non-existant hymens. Conversely, some women have powerful hymens that survive several attempts at intercourse. You will only find out for sure what your hymen status is from a medical exam or when your fiance tries to enter you.

BTW, I'd actually encorage your fiance to finger you a few occasions before your first intercourse, so it will be less uncomfortable.