First Time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
First Time.
5
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 10:46pm

I know I've been absent from the boards for quite a while; classes have started again, and I've been seeing this guy for about a month now. I want to have sex with him, but I wonder if I should see a gynecologist before doing the deed. I've never been to a gyno before, but I think it would be a good idea. Any opinions? Suggestions?

Also, last night, we were fooling around, and he popped my cherry with his finger. A friend told me that it may not be popped all the way. What does this mean? Is it possible for my hymen to still be somewhat intact, or could it have been broken entirely with his finger?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
In reply to: soma_holiday
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 11:36pm
Yes, it is possible to partially break the hymen. What it doesn't mean is that the first time you have intercourse that you won't feel more breakage.
The first time I had sex, I don't think that he penetrated me the whole way. The second time he did and I felt the stretching/burning. I also bled.
Of course, we were so young and inexperienced.
It is not likely that he broke the entire hymen with his finger.
I am not sure a trip to the Gyno is warrented at this time, but once you become sexually active -- it probably is a good idea.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
In reply to: soma_holiday
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 11:56pm

I'm confused, and I think you are too. (as well as your friend) Are you under the impression that because he put his finger into your vagina that something broke or "popped"? You may or may not have a hymen, the majority of women don't have one by the time they're sexually active, if they ever had one in the first place. IF you have a hymen....it will stretch, or possibly tear. If it tears, you will know because it will hurt and you will bleed. Inserting a finger into the vagina does nothing more than inserting a tampon into it. If you go to www.the-clitoris.com they have pictures of hymens, and you can check to see if you have anything like that. It's doubtful.

The reason most virgins have pain when they start having intercourse has nothing to do with a hymen. It hurts because they're nervous and rush into it without the proper foreplay and arousal. If you're not properly aroused, you will be dry, and the vaginal muscles won't be relaxed, and it will be painful. Nervousness prevents lubrication. Have some sexual lubricant available, you'll probably need it. If it does hurt, then STOP.....because you can do damage. If it doesn't work, then try again another time.

Any female over 18 should see their gyno annually. Even if they're not sexually active. Once you're sexually active, for sure you should make it a habit. While you're there, you can discuss various methods of birth control, and STD prevention. Knowing you're protected from pregnancy helps to make you less nervous.

Take your time and do it right. Done right, it's pleasure. Done wrong, it's pain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
In reply to: soma_holiday
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 12:10am
I have heard that it's different for all women: some bleed, some don't, some feel pain, and some don't. I didn't feel any pain, but there was most definitely blood.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: soma_holiday
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 8:41am

Some women do bleed, some don't bleed.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2006
In reply to: soma_holiday
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 1:02am
That's so right. My first time I didn't bleed at all, it just hurt. But then again, I had no idea what I was doing, and he wanted me on top and pretty much just shoved me down on him...and I was pretty tense...So of course THAT was going to hurt. Oh well, as much as your first time is supposed to be 'special'- mine really wasn't at all, and while I don't regret it (I was almost 19 and sick of being a virgin) I wish it had been with someone else. Some things are just better left unremembered. Just make sure that it's special for you, and something that you'll want to remember.