first time advice needed!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2005
first time advice needed!!
3
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 7:07pm

Ok guys, here's my situation: my boyfriend and I have discussed it, and we're ready to have sex. He has had sex once before, whereas I am a virgin.

I need advice/input on the following things:
1.) Will it hurt??
2.) I know I'm a virgin, but I still want to be "good" haha. Any possible "moves" I could try out?
3.) Any sweet, first-time sex songs to play while doing it? Preferably more current or modern songs..

Thanks SOO much to anyone who replies!! It's greatly appreciated!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2005
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 7:23pm

Congrats on deciding to take the big step and kudos for taking the time to discuss and think about it. I was recently in your place so here you go:

1. Totally depends. On him (size, movement, etc.) and you (how tight, etc.). For us, it took about 3 attempts to get all the way in. And the first time wasn't totally pleasant for me; a little painful (I was VERY tight and he's big) and it just felt odd. After that, awesome. Advice: if it hurts, he needs to stop, you need to do some deep breathing and get the muscles to relax (the more you tense, more likely it's going to be difficult getting in) and then go a little more. A lots of lube is a good idea for your first time. Just in case. And be sure to pee right before. That way you know when the urge to pee comes on, that your bladder is empty and he's probably just hitting your g-spot. So you can ignore and carry on.

2. Move how it feels good. Don't be afraid to thrust up or gyrate or touch yourself or whatever. Vocalize if you want. As long as you're not doing your best dead wood imitation, you'll be "good."

3. Keane's album is a pretty good choice.

Enjoy.

Pesky.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 7:29pm

1.) Will it hurt??


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Thu, 08-04-2005 - 12:11am

I agree with Tish, and I'll reiterate her answers:

1. It will hurt if you and he don't know what you're doing. It's not a matter of saying lets do it....and it's a done deed. It's a lot more than being "willing". It's a lot of foreplay, foreplay, foreplay.....making sure you're relaxed, aroused and well lubricated. If you do that, no it shouldn't hurt. If it DOES hurt, then stop.....and more foreplay. Both of you should check out www.the-clitoris.com There's a lot of helpful information there about how a woman's body works....and what makes it work better.

2. You will be "good"......he's getting what he wants, and it will be good for him no matter how it is for you. As Tish said, even if you weren't a virgin, the first time with anyone is not usually earth shattering......because you don't know each others bodies, the hot spots & buttons.....which are different for everyone. It takes many times to get comfortable, and know what each other wants.

3. You're going to be too busy doing what you're doing to be listening to music. You could put anything on........you won't hear a thing.

Just relax, enjoy, don't make it into a project, and if it doesn't work, then try again another time......you have a whole lifetime ahead of you to be sexual. If not this time, then the next time.