First Time Complications...Need Advice!
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| Fri, 08-31-2007 - 4:32pm |
Ok. You may think I am crazy and honestly I am not too happy about this either. So here goes. I am engaged and have been with my fiance' almost 2 yrs. No, we havent had sex. We want to, of course. But I just cant take the pain. I am a virgin. He is not. Therefore the pain is unbearable,not to mention his very large member, which doesnt help things very much. I know people have pains their first time. But this pain is so unbearable and makes me cry everytime. Now I can take pain pretty well. But not this. We've thought of everything but nothing seems to work or sounds worth trying. I want to get this over. I'm ready to move up to the next step. So please, anyone that can give useful and helpful advice, anything at all. I greatly would appreciate it.
--sincerely,
---desperate fiancee'--
p.s. my email is mrs.dishon@yahoo.com

If you're getting a lot of foreplay, your well aroused and lubricated and it's that painful, have you talked to your gyno about it?
Maybe you are too tense and worried about the pain that you are not lubricated enough.
Have you tried a lube?
You say he's big but how big is this?
Welcome to the board mrs.dishon.
As Tish said, if everything is working right and the conditions are right, there shouldn't be such pain with your first time. Is there a chance that you're nervous about it hurting and thus tensing up?
Maybe if you try a position that puts you in control, like woman on top, you will be able to guide things and not worry so much that there will be pain. You need to be aroused and well lubricated before he enters you. While you can add more lube, your arousal is still very important. There's a great website, www.the-clitoris.com that you might want to take a look at.
If you are trying everything the right way, and there is still pain, you definitely need to schedule an appointment with your gyn. There are some conditions that can make intercourse painful, so you need to rule them out as well during your visit with the doctor.
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