First time concerns....
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| Sun, 03-05-2006 - 10:31pm |
Hey All,
I didn't know what board to post this too, but i'm sure ya'll are more experienced than I in this situation and could use some advice. My bf and I finally had sex for the first time last night. I was a virgin, he wasn't. Everyone always said if you are ready and it's right it won't hurt as much. Well, as ready as we both were, it was very painful for me. I don't want to get detailed so I will try to make it as simple as possible. When he started pushing himself inside there was this burning sensation I guess I can say, but it eventually started to subside once we got really into it. The second time around though, things got even more heated and a little more rough and because I wasn't feeling as much burning pain when he entered, I didn't give it much thought and enjoyed the moment. Afterwards, however, I was hurting pretty bad. It kept me up most of the night. When I got up to go to the bathroom, there was some bleeding, nothing bad, but I guess I was just so sore that it hurt to wipe after I went to the bathroom. I thought it would have gone away, but this morning it was just hurting and uncomfortable. I soaked for a bit in a bathtub and felt around a little down there and it was just very swollen. When I went to the bathroom it didn't burn when I pee'd, but it burned or got irritated when I wiped.Kind of like when you put soap on a cut. I looked around with a mirror to see if there was any kind of cuts or something, but other than some swelling it looked normal. When I sit for long periods though it just gets really sore, especially in the area between the vaginal opening and anus(sorry if thats too graphic). I also have been spotting, it's not red or pinkish like blood, it's kind of a very very light brown that shows up on my pantiliner, which could very well be bleeding. I don't know if it's normal to be this sore after sex for the first time. Am I wrong? Can it be like this or is it possible something else is wrong? I plan on getting checked, but the gyno I will see can't see me immediately and I have to go in to planned parenthood tomorrow for the morning-after pill because we did have a little condom mishap and it has me paranoid, but I won't be getting checked there since a have a different doctor. I just needed some kind of advice or input until I get to the doctor. Thanks.

If it's "right" and if you're "ready" (mentally), has nothing to do with whether or not it's painful. Being "ready" means relaxed and aroused and well lubricated. It sounds like you weren't "ready" in that way. The soreness is probably from a combination of being slightly torn, and the friction caused by lack of lubrication.
Burning with urination is caused by urethral irritation and/or an UTI. That's not your problem. The soreness will probably go away before you go to the gyno, but go anyway, just to be sure you're not torn.
If and when you repeat it, make sure you have LOTS of foreplay, meaning clitoral stimulation, so that your vaginal muscles are relaxed, and also get some sexual lubricant, and use it liberally. First timers are usually nervous, and that makes it difficult to relax, and usually stops your natural lubrication. Now, you're going to be MORE nervous, because you'll be in fear of pain again. This time, do NOT "tolerate" the pain. Stop, and continue the foreplay. If it doesn't work this time, it will work eventually. If it's painful, then you're NOT ready!
PS: The fact that he's not a virgin means absolutely nothing. Guys can have sex all their lives and not understand how a woman's body works, and the necessity of foreplay for all women, not only virgins. If he had to force it, then he obviously doesn't know what he's doing, and it's up to you to make him take his time. Both of you would benefit from checking out the info at www.the-clitoris.com
Edited 3/6/2006 12:16 am ET by dakine001
dakine001
Thank you so much for your post. I felt better after reading it and even more better when I woke up this morning. The pain is completely gone, but of course i'm still going to the doctor either way to check things out and make sure all is good.