First time help!!

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
First time help!!
2
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 6:14am
Im with this guy i really like and we get on really well etc and im ready 2 have sex with him, only problem is im still a virgin and hes a bit older so im kinda scared he'll laugh at me (i know he wont cos hes not like that bt think he might think it in his head) anyway im scared of 2 things one that i'll bleed everywhere and 2 i get really nervous. Last time i tried 2 hav sex i was so nervous and unaroused he couldnt penetrate (different boyfriend) and in the end he split up wiv me. Is there any good suggestions for settleing my nerves, and any ways i dont look like a complete novice and what about bleeding??help!!
thanx xx


Edited 12/13/2004 6:32 am ET ET by fluffykay
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to:
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 7:41am

There is no reason why this man should laugh at you (even in his head) if you are a virgin.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to:
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 9:00am

You will seem to be a complete novice because you ARE a complete novice! He needs to know that you're a virgin so that he can take care of you properly. You said the first time you tried, it didn't work because you were "completely unaroused".....so you understand that relaxation and arousal is necessary to be able to have intercourse. Why didn't you make sure that you WERE aroused first? A decent man doesn't laugh at a virgin, he cherishes her, and treats her carefully. A selfish man will take care of himself, and not care what you are.

Haven't you heard of foreplay? That's how a woman is aroused. Most people don't just have intercourse....they work their way up to that. If a man doesn't want to take the time to make sure you're ready, then he's just in it for his own satisfaction, and he doesn't care very much about you. That's not who you should be having sex with!

As for the bleeding......as Tish said, some do, some don't.....and if you do there's nothing to be embarassed about. That's what happens when people have sex.....they release fluids, they make noises, and it's all part of being sexually active. If those things embarass you, then you're not ready to have sex.