First time Masterbating

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2013
First time Masterbating
3
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 9:31am

I'm a 41 divorced woman and I have a confession.... Up until 3 days ago, I had never masterbated before.  Yes, i know that is hard to believe, but I was married for 14 years and my ex never made me feel comfortable nor did any of my previous boyfriends.  I'm currently with a man that makes me feel amazing in and out of the bedroom.  Therefore I decided that it was time to find out about what all the talk is about masterbation (I had never really had an interest in it).  So I did some research on the internet and 3 nights ago, I decided to see what all the Hype was.  OMG I have been depriving myself for too many years!!! And the best part I didn't feel guilty or dirty - I felt a new sense of confidence!!! Amazing.

My man now thinks it's the greatest thing ever that I finally did it.  And now I'm ready to take our sex life to a whole new level-  any suggestions on how to turn him on with this new found thing (we have already talked about getting me a vibrator, etc).  Also, I'm not good at talking dirty during sex and would love some suggestions to help me with that so that I can turn him on even more.  I know I like it when he talks dirty to me and I want to reciprocate that!!!

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2007
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 3:54pm

Good for you!  I wish I could get my girl friend to open up more.  A vibrator is good.  You might also want to try a vibrating penis ring.  You could find a simple version made by Trojan in the condom section of drug stores.  They have a large version with multiple speeds.  The ring also to a certain extent restricts the blood from flowing out of the penis so he stays harder, longer.  Also, try some massage oils and give each other a massage.  Or use some lube and give him a hand job.  Are you going to masterbate in front of him?  I would fine that a real turn on.  Maybe tie him up so he can't join in.  We also use a feather duster with honey dust as a massaging device.  You can find those on most adult websites. 

As to talking dirty, you could start with some simple stuff till you feel more comfortable.  One girl use to turn me on by just saying:  "Fill me up," as I entered.  Even little things like "harder,"  "do me from behind," or "go down on me" should excite him.  I think guys like being told what to do by an assertive woman.  Or just describe how and what you feel. 

If you want to try porn together, Candida Royalle makes more woman/themed oriented porn.  Keep us updated, I lot of us live vicariously.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2013
Sat, 11-02-2013 - 2:23pm

Glad you are enjoying it!  I bet you are making up for lost time and kicking yourself for missing out all those years.

Hope your give yourself some great orgasms

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Tue, 12-03-2013 - 2:41pm

My lover has seen me stroke myself and then we go on to something else. We know we each take care of our selves when we are alone. We want to watch each other masterbate but just get so wraped up on other things we never have layed there and watched each other. We use toys on each other and are starting to be more open and speak too. You don't have to say f**k me harder, just say give it to me harder, the more you each say things the more you begin to say, then is when you both begin to get excited and more vivid and hotter. Enjoy, now that you know you enjoy the feeling of masterating would be a good time to start off your next play time by you masterbating in front of him. My guess is you will have him take matters into his hand while he is watching you. The next thing that will happen is you will both be wet and locked in hot sex with each other.  Let me know how it goes.