First time sex (plz help me)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
First time sex (plz help me)
13
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 10:18am
I was really scared of sleepin wid my boyfriend for the first time, but last nite, we had sex. It really really hurt at the start then it was alrite it didnt hurt, but then it started to hurt agen, like jus a bit of a sharp pain. I neva bled then, but wen i got home to get changed i had strted to bleed, today there has been ALOT of blood. I was due on my period in abar 2 weeks, but cos im bleedin now dus that mean i wnt cum on my period then. Also im not in ANY pain at all afta las nite, dus this mean im still a virgin an dat we didnt properly have sex? an dus it mean my hymen hasnt been borken? Will sex hurt wen we do it agen?? Plzzz help me!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 10:46am
If his penis was in your vagina, you are no longer a vigin. Further more, not all women have a hymen to break, some bleed, some don't. If the bleeding is getting worse and more heavy, get yourself to a doctor and get yourself checked out. Also, if it hurt, you were not lubricated enough for sex. More foreplay may have been needed or your body just may not produce enough lubrication on it's own and you need to add more lube for it to be comfortable. In the future, if you are hurting, tell your boyfriend to stop. And if you were so scared about having sex for the first time, did you talk about it with your boyfriend? Did he pressure you into it? Having sex before you are ready can have effects on your body without you knowing it. Your body may have automatically tensed up which is what made penetration harder for him and in turn hurt you. Learn to relax, use lube in necessary and take things slowly. For more information about both of your bodies, several have recommended the sites www.the-clitoris.com and www.the-penis.com - the both of you should check these out and learn more about your bodies and what turns you on and feels good. HTH
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 10:51am
if there was penetration, most likely the hymen has broken (unless he was extremely small), so you're no longer a virgin. the pain from first time intercourse isn't necessarily from hymen breaking, but rather from the friction between penis and vaginal wall, your vagina was tight and not used to such "foreign object". you mentioned about being scared to have sex, so you were likely unrelaxed and not well lubricated, that definitely added to the discomfort. the bleeding probably came from tears in the vaginal wall, the vagina typically fixes itself, but if bleeding continues more than couple days (not period), go see a doctor.

will it hurt again next time you have sex? maybe, it depends. to have better experience next time, most importantly be mentally ready. it will not be enjoyable (and probably painful again) if you're under pressure. longer foreplay would be helpful. relax and make sure you're well lubricated (use additional lubricant, like saliva or KY, if necessary). communication is the key, let him know how you feel, ask him to slow down or stop if you're in pain. some girls are afraid to do so, thinking that the guy might feel rejected, but actually you could make such request sexy and pleasant by saying you feel so good but he's too hard and big (every guy loves hearing this) so you need more time to get used to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 11:19am

You were scared so you most likely were not relaxed enough and lubricated enough.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 11:31am
We have kinda tlked about it, an he knew it was my first time and he understood an waited until i was ready. I thought i was ready but it really hurt at first.If i wasn't ready then how will i know wen i am ready (mentally).He did ask me if i wanted him to stop cos i told him it hurt, but i sed NO, i ave to get ova it sumtime so i told him to just carry on, an things were alrite, i jus dnt understand why,now an again id feel sum sharpe pain.

Also i was told a lil while ago i had a cyst on my left ovary an am goin for another scan in 2 weeks 2 make sure its gone,sex dusnt do nethin to it dus it??
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 12:14pm

Being mentally ready is, make sure this is something


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 4:52pm
I dnt think i create enough lubrication myself, So i think i wud have to use KY JELLy or any other lubrication. But wen do i put it on? is it just before we have sex, or can you put it on minutes/hours or wateva before having sex?? do you stay lubricant for long hours then?

Also i used to be turned on very easily by my boyfriends, neva wanted to try sex tho, but was lubricated enough to be fingered an dat. But i had an operation in February jus gone. This was because my periods had strted but had clogged up inside me an so they had to make a bigger hole in my vagina for it to pass thru. And i had to have a tube up me for a day. Afta that it took a while for even me to get use to touchin myself wen id wash an dat. I dnt mind my boyfriend touchin me there, even tho its took a while. But i just can't get turned on enough. Wat can i do? I thought also that it was cos then id go the gym everyday for a few hours, an i heard exercising releases endorphins, would i get a higher sex drive by goin bak the gym???
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 4:59pm
Your sex drive isn't what make you lubricated. I myself have en extremely high libido and we still have to use lube almost every time. You would put on the lube right before you have sex ans sometimes, if the sex lasts long enough (also depnds on the amount of friction), yuo will need to reapply the lube. Spend more time on the foreplay, seriously, and that will help you to relax and he will be able to more easily enter you so it won't hurt. He can also try giving you a sensual massage to help ease your mind and body and you will automatically relax. But yes, if you were to start exercising again, you will most likely get your sex drive back. Endorphins do aid in making your libido increase.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 5:14pm
THANK YOU soooo much i dnt kno hu else i cud of asked these questions too.You've been a great great help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 5:28pm
Hey sorry to bother you again bought i just fort of anutha question i need to ask, hope you don't mind. Because im bleeding now after 'haveing sex' could i try an put a tampon in? i thought that it mite make me a bit bigger so that it wnt hurt again next time we have sex!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 5:42pm

Putting a tampon in won't make you bigger.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

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