first time: traditional or fun?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
first time: traditional or fun?
5
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 10:41am


My boyfriend and I have have decided that we are ready to have sex. I am a virgin (experienced with oral though) but he not a virgin and is quite experienced in the bedroom. We have talked about fantasies and doing fun things with sex (ie: food, whipped cream) but have not decided whether we want our first time to be something "traditional," or if we should go for the fun stuff. I'm not hung up on the idea that my virginity is something sacred that has to lost in a "special" way. Since this will be our first sexual experience with each other, do you suggest we go about it in a "traditional" or "fun" way?

Any suggestions would be appreciated.
THANKS!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 10:57am

Are you "staging a play" or moving your relationship forward? If you've never had intercourse, then it would be best to worry about whether or not he knows his way around a woman's body.....not worry about whipped cream!

Also, quite "experienced" in the bedroom can mean absolutely NOTHING. Experienced means "numbers", not knowledge or expertise. Guys can have sex with a hundred women and still not understand the first thing about a woman's body. AND, since you're not the same as any other woman, he will have to learn what it is that YOU want and need.

Unless you're BOTH very experienced, first time sex is just that, first time sex. You'll be lucky if you even accomplish it.....let alone worrying about making it "fun". Deciding you're "ready" is only the first part of the equation. There's a lot more to it than that! Just hope that he knows enough about it to make it "good" for you.....you can always have "fun" another time, when you both know what you're doing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 11:07am

It doesn't matter, whatever the two of you want to do.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 11:22am

I should have also said that we have fooled around and have done things such as oral and manual, just never intercourse. He DOES know his way around my body, so that does not concern me as it is not an issue.

I am sure that it will be a little akward for both of us since it will be our first time, that I assume cannot be avoided, but I would like to make it as comfortable and enjoyable as possible.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 12:18pm

Of course you want to make it as enjoyable and comfortable as possible. That's why you shouldn't worry about "fun" things right now. All the other "fooling around" isn't intercourse.....but with the right attitude, and if you take LOTS of time with all the other "fooling around" (otherwise known as "foreplay") it should be fine.

Something else, don't worry about having whipped cream on hand this time around, but you SHOULD have some sexual lubricant, just "in case". Nervousness causes "dryness"....and regardless of anything else, you WILL be nervous. Enjoy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Fri, 09-22-2006 - 1:17am
I wouldn't worry about trying to swing from the lampshades or dousing yourself in whipped cream. I would have thought that just the whole fact that you were going to go "all the way" would have been distracting enough without bells and whistles at this point. I mean, why isn't intercourse "fun"? You make it sound like it isn't going to be "fun" and you need something more. Do what you want to do by all means. I don't think that it matters too much, but if it was me I'd just feel a bit distracted by other things.