First time - WOT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2006
First time - WOT?
2
Sat, 02-11-2006 - 3:10pm

I'm new here and I've never had sex before but will soon. Two questions.

My boyfriend says its easier if I'm on top because I'm tight, but I prefer him to be on top and in control the first time. Is it true that it will be harder to get it in with him on top? And he is also quite big.

If he sticks his finger in my bumhole will it hurt? He says he wants to do that.

Thanks.

Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-11-2006 - 3:32pm
Sdearest, I would hope that he doesn't try the bumhole on the first try. You have enough to worry about because it is your first attempt at intercourse. I see no need for you to be on top. If he is caring and considerate, he can be on top without hurting you . My wife's first session was great from the very start (it was with me, by the way). Good luck and enjoy yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Sun, 02-12-2006 - 12:57am

I think that before you do anything, you both need to learn more about HOW to do it. It sounds like neither of you know much about women's bodies.

Whether you're on top or on the bottom, if you're "tight", it's not going to be good. When you're ready to have intercourse (which is only a PART of "sex") you need to have LOTS of foreplay....and if you don't, you won't be aroused properly, you won't be well lubricated, and it will be painful, and a lousy experience for you. Most beginners need extra lubrication, so get some sexual lubricant and use it.

If you're properly aroused, and you're well lubricated, you won't be tight. Your vagina is always tight, virginity has nothing to do with it. When you're aroused properly, your vaginal muscles relax, and THEN you can have intercourse with no problems. Have you figured out what to do about birth control? Being scared of getting pregnant is going to prevent you from relaxing properly. If you're not on b/c, then you should see your gyno and get something before you do this. If he's NOT a virgin, then he needs to use a condom also, unless he's been tested for any and all STD's. THEN you can proceed with your plans.

WOT isn't the best thing for a beginner. It's a great position, but it takes time and practice to learn it. Save that for later. As for his finger in your anus, that's another thing that he should forget about until you're comfortable with plain sex. Tell him to concentrate on foreplay, manual and oral clitoral stimulation to get you relaxed. When you learn the basics, then you can start learning new things.

Make sure you're both ready for this, and then relax and enjoy it.