Flirting 101

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Flirting 101
14
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 10:27am
This was brought up before, but am still interested in more input anyway.

I'm no boy scout (I use to be a member of troop #50 though, LOL!), but I'm very curious about these different viewpoints I've read regarding flirting. All kinds of discussions across the internet about this, and I'm quite stunned by many of the views too...LOL...whoooa Nelly!

So...what is your own personal difinition of flirting when it involves someone you don't have a relationship with, whether you're in one or not? How would YOU describe it? What are your limits of acceptance and how far would you go? If you DID receive unwanted attention in this matter, how would you deal with it?

Remember:

Many points of views, only opinionated, so there's no right or wrong.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: para1995
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 11:06am

Good question Para.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
In reply to: para1995
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 12:02pm
Flirting never ever seems to lead to a good place. At least for me. Let the guy do 99% of the flirting, at least initially. When you're absolutely, positively sure you like him, a couple of subtle signals will more than send the message.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
In reply to: para1995
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 12:13pm
That's tough to answer. I'm with Tish, the situation and person can make the difference. I personally don't flirt with anyone because I don't belive in married people doing it, but Tish's example to me sounded more like joking than flirting.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: para1995
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 5:45pm
You all bring up a point or two that I hadn't thought of. Hopefully we'll get more views.

I must honestly admit that we're both the insanely jealous type. What a match, huh? LOL!!

Here's what triggers Mrs. Para off:

If a lady talks with me and even so much as flatters me, flirts and all, then Mrs. P doesn't even raise an eyebrow at it...she just knows it won't matter, LOL!! Ahem...NOW...as soon as ANY lady starts talking about her own life and dreams and goals and whatever else about herself, then Mrs. Para lights up like a comet! Ooooh MY the look she had when that last lady made the mistake of unprovokingly telling me her age! ....sssssssssss......!!!.....

I think I'm the same way except I react quicker. If its joking, then whatever, even if its flirtatious. As soon as the talk gets personal however, the dude gets me rude! LOL!!

I suppose for us that the flirt line would be when it starts to involve personal info. Others on the internet, believe this or not, have admitted that its okay until "no" can't be taken as an answer, GASP!, and they were mostly the 'married' ones at that! I'm not saying its wrong or right cause to each their own, but I'm so surprised at how ignorant I was all along about how much the world has changed these days. Time for me to wake up I guess...lol!

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
In reply to: para1995
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 6:06pm

LOL!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: para1995
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 6:19pm
Yep yep, loud and clear...LOL! I guess her thing is the types of dreams that would "involve" someone rather than just innocent hopes for the general future though. :)

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
In reply to: para1995
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 6:39pm

Ahhh.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: para1995
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 6:56pm
I'm married but I like playful, harmless flirting. And I agree with Ishytish that it needs to be completely harmless with all parties. I don't like the men that leer at me or undress me with their eyes - yuck. It's so gross.

I flirt with the grocery bagger guy at our local market - he's a cutie, very young, but always looking at me so one day I started up a little conversation with him. Now we joke around all the time on my way out about how he'd give up his girlfriend anyday for me - it's completely harmless.

I DO NOT like when other women flirt with my husband AT ALL. Most of them ARE NOT harmless and are fairly serious. My hubby won't flirt back at most of them, but on occasion, he has (if we're at a party or something light) and I can feel fire about to flame out of my nostrils!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: para1995
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 1:26pm
Yep yep, my wife KNOWS what its like to have a jealous spouse, LOL!!!

I gotta tell you, everyone, that I'm seeing the same pattern in this string so far that I've seen across other boards too. In parts of this string, the flirt to some is way serious with others. THEN, add on to that the ingredient of WHO is doing the flirting as well.

So many different little things that make up what we individually consider an actual flirt or more. Even I have to admit being use to hearing "compliments" from the ladies at wifey's work and then hearing those from associates outside of her work. She always "mocks" the differences, LOL!!

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
In reply to: para1995
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 3:17pm
I feel the same way about people flirting with JT as Mrs. Para does with you. Hoever, JT gets upset if I talk friendly to people! I am a 'natural flirt' in JT's eyes and he says I flirt without even knowing it. Which I believe is true, but sometimes he gets way too jealous over nothing. Along with being this natural flirt, I am extremely talkative and nice to virtually everyone. I takes *a lot* for someone to get on my bad side or seriously piss me off and that adds to my flirtation. I will strike up a conversation with anybody and if JT is around, he automatically thinks I am flirting, even if I am talking to another woman!! Or if we are in line at the grocery store and a guy sees the health food I am buying ans starts asking aobut it, JT goes haywire!! I don't get it becuase I know I am totally innocent with the convo but he thinks that the guy is thinking I am trying to hit on him or that JT means nothing to me if I am willing to talk to him right in front of JT. I see it as he sees this guy beside me and can tell we are a couple so he knows nothing will ever go farther than the conve we are haing right now. I dunno, maybe I am just naive, but I really don't care what other people think if they are not a friend of mine anyways so maybe that is why I see so much of my talking as being innocent. But on the other hand, I have a situation totally like Tish's and JT is the one that started them! A couple of guys he works with and one very frequent cusomter call me either their wike or girlfriend and when I am around, joke aobut me coming home with them right in front of JT and he urges me to go! But if it were any other guy, he would be put in his palce and would probably think twice about appraoching me again. LOL To quote Tish and say I am the same way..."I am 51% sweetheart - 49% bitch...don't cross over the line!"
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