Flirting 101

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Flirting 101
14
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 10:27am
This was brought up before, but am still interested in more input anyway.

I'm no boy scout (I use to be a member of troop #50 though, LOL!), but I'm very curious about these different viewpoints I've read regarding flirting. All kinds of discussions across the internet about this, and I'm quite stunned by many of the views too...LOL...whoooa Nelly!

So...what is your own personal difinition of flirting when it involves someone you don't have a relationship with, whether you're in one or not? How would YOU describe it? What are your limits of acceptance and how far would you go? If you DID receive unwanted attention in this matter, how would you deal with it?

Remember:

Many points of views, only opinionated, so there's no right or wrong.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: para1995
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 11:02am
Actually, you hit pretty close to what my wife was nudging me about regarding this topic.

She said that sometimes it just seems like certain ladies pay more extra special attention to me than they really need to. Its the type of and the amount of attention that gets her going.

She's able to tell when the attention is this or that, even whenever I'm not aware of it. She notices their dilated pupils and the extra sugar in the voices and the difference in body postures and the extra approachable hand gestures and on and on and on...LOL!!

Uh huh, I'm married to one of THOSE type of tigers. So it made me realize that I likely notice those things on a subliminal level about certain guys that talk to her as well. I suppose that these little details we notice about people who talk to our S.O.s are the details that help us seperate the okay ones from the not so okay ones when it comes to whether or not they're being flirty OR being too flirty. Interesting.

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
In reply to: para1995
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 11:45am
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Isn't it funny how we totally turn the other cheek when someone is talking to our SO (or at least I do anyways) but they watch our every move and the person's we are talking to? I actually enjoy when JT and I are out and about and (this most frequently happens at the grocery store when I leave to go get something and I sneak back and 'spy' on JT when a girl strikes up a convo) another girl starts up a conversation with him. He likes it because he thinks that all girls think he is an ass (because when he doesn't have an expression on his face, he looks seriously pissed), so he relishes in the moment. (If I didn't know him before I wouldn't approach him either.) Well, even though we are not married, he still wears a ring and most of the time girls see that and then look around for me. But the ones that don't notice *really* start flirting and that is where I get some enjoyment. He doesn't know how to handle attention like that as he is generally a quiet, shy person. So it's fun to see him try to shove off these girls. LOL There have only been a few girls that I wanted to scratch the eyes out of and that was my fault for letting it go so far. It's a good ego boost for JT so I think that is why I don't mind him flirting a bit. But yet I totally see where he is coming from when he says that when I talk (in his eyes flirt) with other guys how they can see me as coming on to them. I don't know very many women, not saying that they aren't out there, that will comfortably strike up a convo with a guy in a totally innocent manner. Although that is what I do, it is easy to see why a guy may take that as me trying to get him to go on a date or something. Perfect example: Yesterday I was totally bugging and had to get out of here (my job) for lunch. We ususally have an ordered lunch everyday but I skipped out of here yesterday. I went to a 7-11 to pick up a Sobe (my FAV drinks) and I forgot I had no cash so I had to use the check card. Well, the debit portion was broken so I had to use it as credit and when I went to sign the receipt the guy behind me commented 'Oh, a lefty.' I smiled and said a damn proud one too! We chit chatted for another second and he proceeded to ask me if I would like to go out tomorrow (which is now today) for a drink after work. I laughed and second no for two reasons. One, I am not old enough to drink (his jaw hit the floor at that) and two, I am engaged. He then proceeded to get loud saying that I was a tease and shouldn't have led him on like that. Blew me away!! *He* commented on my being left handed, then he asked how my day was going so I summed it up for him and then I asked how his was going, being courteous. When I said I had to go is when he asked me the question. How was I leading him on?!? I just don't get some men but I guess that is why JT gets so defensive when I am simply talking to a guy. Oh well, what can you do?

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anonymous user
In reply to: para1995
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 2:00pm
To All...I guess it all depends on your definition of flirting...2a : to behave amorously without serious intent..That is the dictionary definition. To me flirting has some type of sexual undertones.(even if its innocent)Instead of saying ,wow those are nice jeans, one might say "your butt looks good in those jeans.OR.. That is one sexy shirt you have on.... Just holding ordinary conversation with people of the opposite sex ,to me , is not flirting. Some people say true flirting is almost like acting as if you are really interested in a person on a sexual level, almost as if you might like to pick them up even...but you have no intention of doing so, and it never progresses that far. (of course at times innocent flirting HAS progressed that far)..Some people get a kick out of flirting like that at a bar out with friends. In my mind that type of flirting is off base, especially at work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
In reply to: para1995
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 3:06pm
In total and complete agreement with that one!! Couldn't have said it better myself - cuz that words never come out right for me anyways. :P
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