The forbidden word.........Communication

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
The forbidden word.........Communication
16
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 7:44am

You'll see it over and over, people asking about sexual problems, what is he/she thinking, why doesn't he/she do this anymore, why doesn't he/she initiate sex, will he/she like it if I do this or that, the list goes on.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 2:03pm

But lack of action does not necessarily mean that there is


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 2:05pm

I forgot to address the first part of your post....

"Yes, some will choose to just give up because the believe the illusion that their partner just doesn't have the desire to please them. The desire is there..."

No, I didn't say that they give up because they believe that their partner doesn't have the desire to please them...I said the opposite. That they ACCEPT the fact that their partner DOES have the desire to please them, but for some reason they cannot. The desire is present on that we agree. Which is why it's probably easier for them to not take personally.




Edited 6/7/2005 3:58 pm ET ET by rain_dancer_iam
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 2:30pm

:0)...projecting I must be!

Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 2:34pm

Good point rain...acceptance is the key to moving past anything.

Scott.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 2:58pm

And it a lot of information and disclosure can come out of those spontaneous, seemingly insignificant conversations couples can have.

I know it was a little offputting to my DH when we first began having our once-a-month sitdowns to discuss our marriage, etc. Now, that we are looser with the time frame, where and how they take place, etc., makes him feel freer to talk openly and more naturally.

And we can't discount the differences between the sexes. They're real and they can be problematic if you aren't checking in with one another periodically all along the way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 3:41pm
I think it's simply that some people don't feel entitled when it comes to sex. I don't think it goes deeper than that.
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )

Pages