Foreplay?!?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Foreplay?!?!
9
Mon, 07-14-2008 - 9:10pm

I've been hooking up with my guy for about 9 months now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
In reply to: zenax1
Mon, 07-14-2008 - 11:43pm
You can either mention to him or make a game out of it...like stop him before he enters you and tell him you are going to delay orgasm...for fun...and give him the handjob or blowjob and tell him you want him to do the same in return for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
In reply to: zenax1
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 12:25am

You're "much too wise to do anything but compliment him"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: zenax1
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 7:13am

Welcome to the board, zenax1.

Almost all couples go through a similar situation. At the onset of a new sexual relationship, there is a lot of energy -- things are new, and the two of you are getting to know each other in many ways. Once you become more and more comfortable with each other, then that initial energy tends to wane. Having a long-term, satisfying sexual relationship takes work -- hard work, and part of that work is communicating with each other.

If you feel that you can't mention to him something like, "I really miss foreplay", then you should be prepared to at least show him by example. There isn't a rule book that says guys have to be the ones to initiate everything, or always lead in the bedroom. In fact, most guys love it when their lady takes over.

Foreplay doesn't begin in the bedroom, either! Take the opportunity throughout the day to let him know where your mind has wandered, or tell him about things you plan to do to him that evening.

Here are a few articles you might find helpful as well:

Better Sex, Easy as 1-2-3: 20 Tips Every Couple Should Know
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextechnique/0,,drruth_r9s4,00.html

Hot Monogamy
Playboy bunnies share their tips on keeping the love alive
http://love.ivillage.com/lnm/lnmgetcloser/0,,bmxq58mm,00.html?nlcid=ls|01-10-2008|

Kiss Your Way to Better Sex
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sexkissing/0,,7552m8mv,00.html

If you do decide to talk to him, make sure that your conversation is about "you" and not "him". Saying, "I need more foreplay" will get you a lot further than saying "You never do that anymore". You want a dialog to open up, not fling blame back and forth. The two of you may even want to have an evening every now and then that is all about foreplay -- no intercourse at all. I'm sure it's not that he doesn't enjoy foreplay, but for most guys, IC is the goal ... if you're ready to go there, then he's going to be ready too.

















iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
In reply to: zenax1
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 12:58pm

"Foreplay doesn't begin in the bedroom, either! "


Very true and most people dont get it either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
In reply to: zenax1
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 6:35pm

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I think you're right on the mark.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
In reply to: zenax1
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 6:47pm
Thanks for the advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
In reply to: zenax1
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 6:48pm
Thanks !
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
In reply to: zenax1
Wed, 07-16-2008 - 8:10am

You should "act less happy"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2007
In reply to: zenax1
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 5:30pm
I have the same exact issue. Many times my 40-something bf thinks that once he's gotten sucked on for a while and is fully hard, we're totally ready for sex, whether or not he has even touched me. Most of the time it's fine, but once in a while more foreplay in my direction would be good. Literally, sometimes he just drools a big gob of spit onto the head of his penis, spreads it around with his hand, and assumes we're good to go! On the rare occasions he does perform oral sex on me, he's a Nobel laureate at that activity. It feels unbelievable and he goes on for ages. I think he literally just forgets to have foreplay with me sometimes; hard-on equates to ready for sex.