foreskin question

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
foreskin question
13
Wed, 09-06-2006 - 5:03pm
my boyfriend of a year has a condition where he can't pull the foreskin back enough becuase it hurts. It's pulled back enough to expose the head but when he's inside me, it pulls it back further and it hurts him. Now this leads to a problem, because he can enter me but he can't have an orgasm that way. I can't use manual stimation on him either. He's never had a orgasm with me, this worries me, because we have mismatched drives, i want more, and he always brings me to orgasm manually but then it ends. It's like we're not in it together, and that sexual passion is not there becuase we know that he will never get to the climactic state. Has anyone ever experienced this? I need more information / advice on how to handle this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2006
Wed, 09-06-2006 - 9:25pm
Has he been to a doctor for this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Wed, 09-06-2006 - 11:25pm
he's mentioned it to his primary care who told him to go to another doctor that specializes in this type of situation, he also suggested that it needs stretching, (but that hurts him too much) or perhaps may need to be cut. I've just never heard of this, so was looking for advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Thu, 09-07-2006 - 12:13am

It was probably a botched circumcision, and it needs to be looked at by an urologist, or possibly a plastic surgeon. It's probably just a matter of snipping the frenulum.

If having sex is painful for him, then it's either fix it, or have painful sex!

Have you tried using a condom? That might hold the foreskin in place, and if it can't be pulled back, then it wouldn't hurt. That would be a temporary solution, but it might work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Thu, 09-07-2006 - 9:41am
he was never circumcized though, so it can't be botched. i just wondering if this is a common condition. yes, that's exactly what his doctor told him ..to see a urologist.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Thu, 09-07-2006 - 12:17pm

Then that's all the more reason why he should see an Urologist! Does he want to spend the rest of his life having painful sex?

You didn't mention whether or not this is something that just occured with you, or has it been this way with other women before you? (unless of course you're his first!) Either way, it's a problem, and it's not going to go away if it's continued for a year.

He's probably afraid to find out that he needs an operation, and most guys cringe at the thought of "that" being cut or altered, but it makes more sense to have it taken care of and possibly be in pain for a few days, than to suffer with it EVERY time he has sex!

You need to talk to him, and offer to go with him if he's just scared to see a doctor.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2006
Fri, 09-08-2006 - 10:28am

Everything you have mentioned makes me think his condition could be something called *phimosis*. Someone was asking a question about this on another board a while back:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlsecretsofm/?msg=9084.1

If you google it, you'll find many references. Take a look at wikipedia for what seems to be good general information.

Good luck to you and your boyfriend.






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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Thu, 09-14-2006 - 8:49pm
I know that this answer is a bit late. While it's not common, it's not an uncommon either. Sometimes the foreskin is just too tight or has adhesions or something and doesn't retract like it should. The stretching that the Doctor talked about is a little more subtle than you think it is. I believe that he needs to put a little tube like device over his penis and it just very gradually stretches the foreskin tiny bit by tiny bit over a period of a few months - kinda like the same way that braces move teeth around in the mouth, this thing stretches the foreskin just as slowly. While that doesn't sound terribly exciting, some guys much prefer doing that to the surgical option which is likely to include a circumcision. As an adult a circumcision isn't pleasant but its not too bad either and will get him back into action after a period of healing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 8:38am
where can he find this device? or can it be only bought thru a doctor?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 3:15pm

No matter WHAT his problem is, he has to see a doctor. ONLY a doctor will know specifically what's wrong, and how to fix it.

Westridge was offering a possible solution, NOT a cure.

No matter what the cure is, it can't be worse than a lifetime of painful sex!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 3:50pm
He may need to get cut (circumcision)if the skin is too tight,it can be painful, however. I was circumcised as a baby , couldn`t walk for 10 months....;)

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