Forever a Virgin? (not literally, lol)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2013
Forever a Virgin? (not literally, lol)
3
Fri, 08-02-2013 - 11:07pm

okay. i lost my virginity 12 years ago at the age of 20, and it was just as awful and painful as i expected it to be. skip forward 4-5 months (the virginity thief was an jerk, i never saw him again) and i have my first boyfriend, who as it turns out.. is/was very well endowed. the first time we had sex, the entire process of insertion took 35 minutes, and after he was "in", whenever he moved, i screamed. thankfully he is/was quite patient and eventually, we were able to successfully have sex with no issues at all.

now, while this "issue" isn't necessarily a problem, as it doesn't cause me any pain, it is very inconvenient to say the least.. but mostly, i'm just very curious. my vagina is very tight. after reading a few forums on various sites, it seems as if everyone wants to jump to the conclusion of vaginismus. i do not have that. i have no pain, i just bleed after sex. not a lot, it's just a bit of spotting. every time, without fail, no matter the size of the guy i'm with.

i went to a new obgyn for my yearly pap back in april of this year, and he commented on how petite my vagina is. i started asking questions, but basically the only thing he said was that i'm just not as "elastic" as other women, and not to worry about it. so he asked me the normal things, including abnormal bleeding. i said yeah, i bleed every time i have sex. no, it's not a lot. no, it doesn't hurt. he didn't really say anything. *shrug*

well, after 12 years, i am back with my very first boyfriend (strange how life works!). we just recently decided to have sex, (this may be a bit vulgar) and it didn't go so well, i guess. there was no problem with "insertion", but alas, he said something about me being too small. i did sorta wince/gasp as he was going in, and he informed me that he was only semi-erect. things sorta fell apart after that. this whole situation lasted about 5 minutes, maybe? so i went to go pee, and i was spotting again. 

what the heck is wrong with my vag?? am i doomed to have a virgin-sized vagina forever? =\


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2012
Mon, 08-05-2013 - 3:53pm

In your shoes, I think I would get a second opinion from a different ob/gyn. You shouldn't bleed every time you have sex, and it should not be painful. Have you tried using lube to make it easier?  This might be a TMI question, but do have the same trouble if you use a dildo?    How big is your current boyfriend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-1998
Tue, 08-06-2013 - 8:41am
I have two questions because you did not mention them. First.....Do you use a good a lubricant and plenty of it? Second...Fore play??? A tongue and fingers can do wonders. I'm not talking a quick finger insertion. I'm talking 10 to 15 minutes of kissing you lips; your neck; and every other part of you. You should be both relaxed and aroused.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Tue, 08-06-2013 - 11:51am

I'm going to have to say the same thing as the others.

What about foreplay? Are you wet enough? Try some lube. Get another gyn,



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006