found his porn,need help asap

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
found his porn,need help asap
13
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 4:34pm
HI everyone,

my bf arrives home in 1.5 hours and I need help. In nov. of last year I found his porn on his computer.. i told him I felt hurt and unattractive and i didn't like it. he said he didn't like it, but it was like an addiction. he promised he'd stop.

periodically i'd ask if he was looking at it, and he'd get mad and say no. but today, I found it again!! should I bring it up?? and, also, we've been having other issues lately, unrelated to this, and i'm afraid if i bring this up it will be the "last straw" and he'll want a break.. we are both 25. should i check tomorrow to see if he's looked at anything else or just confront him today and risk a huge blowout which may result in us breaking up?? we are both in university, under lots of stress, and arguing about just about everything now, so i am nervous about initiating another argument.. please help soon!

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 6:41pm
Wow, congrats to you and your DH, Tally!

You're preaching to the choir here, but it's true. An addicted person looks at the world through his addiction and obviously, it's going to be skewed to maintaining the addiction. And it has to so scary for the addicted person to even consider giving up something that has given him or her so much pleasure, relief and comfort. So, that "I can do it myself" thinking is really the addiction talking and looking for ways to avoid accountability.

And I don't know about you, but I don't have a PH.D in Mental Health or Human Behavior so there's a lot I don't know. But as you mentioned, there's a wealth of valuable information and aide available to those who desperately need it, if they'll only ask for it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 6:51pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 7:07pm

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