foursome/past coming back.......
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foursome/past coming back.......
| Sun, 04-16-2006 - 11:53pm |
Hi all. My husband and I did something 5 years ago that is now coming back to haunt us. We had a foursome. Unfortunately, the couple was not married and were barely dating which left one of them to 'run his mouth', as he had nothing to lose. This guy has now brought that same night.......one night only........up to a coworker. I denied it of course but am afraid this could spiral out of control. Not sure how to handle this. If I/we chew him out, he can just keep talking. If I don't ever confront him, the coworker will think that is a little odd since this is such a 'horrible rumor', as he put it. My husband and I are not ashamed of what we did as it was a one night thing that happened, we tried it, and it's a done-deal. We were stupid to do 'that' with the 'talker', that's the problem. Any ideas/thoughts on how to deal with this? Thanks alot.

You have no control over gossip, or the gossiper. The best way to handle it is to ignore it. If anyone believes him, even if you say it's not true, they will believe it anyway. Anyone who knows you and likes you will probably not believe it.
The more you protest, the more people will wonder why. If you take the high road and ignore it, something new will quickly come along to gossip about. Next week, it will be old news.
Talk about a thorn in the side! It's unfortunate that some people just don't use very good discretion in what they say,
Ever heard the quote "Thou doth protest too much?" By denying it and dignifying it with ANY response, you give more credence to it.
I agree with dakine, ignore it and him and he will eventually shut up about it since he won't be getting a response from you.
After all, it IS true so you'd be perpetuating a lie by repeatedly denying it anyway. If anyone asks you about it, laugh uproariously and walk away.
Edited 4/18/2006 2:53 pm ET by katmandoo2001
It'd be more helpful if we knew the context that it had been brought up. Why was this guy telling the co-worker? Who was the coworker to you? Why was this coworker told about it and how does he know the "talker"? Who else knows and why would they be worried if they did? How could this affect you professionally? Why is the coworker referring to it as a "horrible rumour"? Why does it seem to be affecting him so much and why is he asking you about it?
I'd be inclined to privately tell the "talker" that you don't appreciate him talking about it. Of course he may want to provoke a reaction from you in which case I wouldn't talk to him. But if he is just stupid and shooting his mouth off then I'd probably firmly, politely and very privately tell him to shut up.
The other best thing to do is to deny it if it comes up in conversation with co-workers - like it has. Maybe admit that you and "talker" socialised years ago (if people don't already know that) but flatly deny any involvement in a "foursome". Do not go on about it though. If you ramble on and repeatedly deny it people will think that where there is smoke there must have been fire.