FREAK UNDERCOVER

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2007
FREAK UNDERCOVER
4
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 6:38pm
I'VE BEEN WITH MY BOYFRIEND FOR ALMOST 2 YRS AND HIS SEX IS GREAT AND ORAL SEX IS AWESOME! LATELY, HE BASICALLY TOLD ME I NEEDED TO STEP UP MY SEX GAME( WHICH I RESPECT )I'VE ONLY GIVEN HIM ORAL SEX A COUPLE TIMES AND I'M JUST NOT AGGRESSIVE IN THE BEDROOM LIKE I WANNA BE. NOW I FEEL LIKE I AM SOME KIND OF UNDERCOVER FREAK B/C I THINK AND DAYDREAM ABOUT ALL KINDS OF FREAKY THINGS BUT TO ACTUALLY CARRY OUT THOSE THOUGHTS JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN. I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS. ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEAS OR EVER FELT THAT WAY? AND HOW DO YOU OVERCOME THAT FEAR OF LETTING LOOSE.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
In reply to: peanups
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 11:40pm
You think about it rationally, you realize there is NOTHING to fear, and you do it. Since your b/f feels you need to "step it up"......what do you fear most, letting loose, or having an unhappy b/f, or maybe even losing your b/f?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2006
In reply to: peanups
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 9:23am

You can step up your game in baby steps if that helps you -- I'm sure that even subtle changes will be positive for both of you. When he does something good for you, why not ask how you can repay the favor? Or tell him what position you want to be in. Make sure you keep thinking about the freaky thoughts you have during the day when you are with him. How about dress a bit sexier outside of the bedroom and let him know that you are thinking about having sex with him.

Really, the only way that you will build your courage up is to actually take some risks. You can take small amounts of risk or you can take a huge leap and go wild all at once. Also, if he's telling you to turn the heat, up -- tell him you're feeling shy. That you do have things you think about, but you're just afraid of his reaction. Ask him to help you get over your shyness by encouraging you to do the things that he would like you to do. We don't want to be told what to do in the bedroom, but if he tells you he would really like a blow job, then you can tell him you're happy to oblige, but you would like to try it a bit differently....then you can fill in whatever you are thinking about. Have him ask you what position you would like to try, etc. Once you get comfortable being part of the "decision making" process in the bedroom, it will be easier for you to initiate things on your own.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2007
In reply to: peanups
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 11:16pm
Why cant you do those "freaky" things you think about?? When I felt like that part of me thought my bf wouldnt like what i wanted to try and the other part was cuz i didnt have self confidence. For a while i was VerY uncomfortable with my body since i had my daughter so i started out the "freakiness" he he;) with blind folding him so i wasnt so self conscious about him seein me and what i was doing. That was like the best start, it also got him some what excited that he didnt know what was coming. You should probably try talking about it and telling him that you feel shy and what you think about doing so he can encourage you while your having sex that worked for me as well.
Good LUck !! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2007
In reply to: peanups
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 12:27pm
what kind of things are you thinking that freak you out? surely it's more than just oral.