Frequency of sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Frequency of sex?
5
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 3:40pm

Hi, hope you can give me some insight.

I've been going out with my bf for about 8 months now. He is my very first sexual partner, and we started having sex about 4 months into the relationship. Anyways, I see him four nights out of the week, and we usually have sex one night out of those four, so basically once a week.

Here's my concern. Since I'm new to sex, I don't know what is enough, if this is too little, if there should be more, etc. For example, this week, nothing. We both had very long days and very late nights, and he was just dead tired all week. I didn't have the best week either.

I don't feel like there's any cause for alarm, because we express our love for eachother in different ways, not just through sex.

I think too, that in the very beginning of the relationship, he was VERY physical towards me, very sexual, and now it has kind of calmed down a bit, but like I said, the love and affection is being shown in different ways.

So basically, I'm asking is there a set amount of sex and physical intimacy a couple should be having on a weekly basis, or does it just depend on the circumstances at the time.

Thanks for your help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 3:52pm
In a word, No. It is different for each couple. If you are both OK with it, then that's what is right for you. Your relationship won't fall apart because you don't have sex x times per week ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 4:21pm
Whatever the two of you are happy with is what is right for you.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 5:09pm
I'm all for communication - ask him his thoughts on it. If you'd like to have it then be honest with him. Maybe he wants it more too but doesn't want to push.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 12:54am

As the others said, whatever is satisfying to both of you, is normal for you. And since no two people have the same libido, there will always have to be compromises on frequency and other aspects of the sexual relationship.

So, don't worry what everyone else is doing. As long as both your needs are being met, most of the time, then once a week is fine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2005
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 3:15pm

I agree with unoshopper. Ask him how he feels about it. It's best not to assume how he feels about it.

John