Frusturated

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Frusturated
12
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 11:00pm
I have been frustrated about this for some time now. Anytime my girlfriend goes down on me, I'm never able to finish. I'm not sure what the problem is because I've never been able to ejaculate anytime when a girl goes down on me. I don't know what to do because it not only makes me disappointed, but makes her think she's not doing something right. Is there anything wrong with me? Please help.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
In reply to: medievalman
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 11:52pm

You're not alone!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
In reply to: medievalman
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 12:01am
We've tried different things, she's used her hands and her mouth at the same time, but nothing seems to work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2008
In reply to: medievalman
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 1:21am

Make sure you (she) uses a nice amount of a high quality lubricant - perhaps try one of the new "warming" kinds.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
In reply to: medievalman
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 1:26am
I usually close my eyes and try to focus on the feeling. I'm not sure if i put too much pressure on myself cause it's never happened, or what. I'll try some of that lubricant stuff... does it really work better than lotion? I can understand the warming stuff, but I guess I'm just a bit skeptical. Is there anything else we can try? I'm open to suggestions. Thanks for your help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2008
In reply to: medievalman
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 1:40am

A good quality (water based) liquid lubricant is so

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
In reply to: medievalman
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 1:53am

As ladybug said, STOP focusing on it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
In reply to: medievalman
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 1:57am
I try to forget about never doing it, and focus on the feeling, but I guess I kinda feel the pressure of it never happeing. We've tried many different techniques, but nothing seems to work. I do thank you for your suggestion and will try a different lube.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: medievalman
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 11:42am

Welcome to the board, medievalman.

I agree with the others that if you think about it, you're putting pressure on yourself that will make your goal that much further away.

The sensations can be different, which could contribute to you not ejaculating during oral. When she is performing oral, try fantasizing about something that you have enjoyed or something you may have seen in porn to get your mind in the right zone.

Also, on the lube suggestion, they make flavored lubes that are great for oral sex. Many lubes are not meant to be used during oral, and can be nasty (don't even know if they would be healthy) to taste. I do think lube might make it nicer for you, but would recommend getting one that is for oral.

If your GF is okay with it, you could suggest she try performing oral after intercourse (but before you have ejaculated). This way, you're already closer to the point of orgasm. She won't have to work for as long to get you there, and during IC, you will have the opportunity to start fantasizing about cumming during oral.





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: medievalman
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 11:51am
Welcome to the board, ladybug0132, and thanks for joining in.




iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
In reply to: medievalman
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 6:45pm
You got some great replies already. All I am going to offer is that my dh has the same issue. We just focus on oral as a activity of pleasure not as



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