The funniest thing to happen during sex?

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Registered: 09-28-2004
The funniest thing to happen during sex?
17
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 2:12pm

I'm sure we have all had funny things occur during sex, not all of which were probably funny at the time but may now seem hilarious...or just amusing. This can be from any place, any time, any kind of sex, with a current or previous partner...or even when you were masturbating.

My story is when my wife was giving me a BJ at her sister's apartment (her sister was away) with her sister's dog was sleeping several feet from the bed. As a gag, when I came my wife aimed my penis towards the dog and I ended up hitting the dog not once, not twice, but three times on successive spurts. The dog woke up just as the third spurt landed and the dog literally didn't know what had hit him and then started running around in circles trying to find the source of the mystery semen. It had to be one of the funniest things the two of us had ever seen.

What's your favorite funny story involving sex?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2005
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 3:00pm

As described to me by a friend in college...

He was with a girl, and somehow while moving around, his head was passing by her behind just as she let one rip. He described it as a very quiet "poof". The look on his face as he was telling it was the funniest thing. I told my wife the story, and we laugh about it like WE were there.

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Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 9:44am

Hey Guyfromjersey, you're lucky it wasn't my dog, you might be missing an important part of your body.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for guyfromjersey
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Registered: 09-28-2004
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 10:44am
Great reply cl-issytish...my GF had her own dog and if either of us starting moaning during sex at her place the dog would start wimpering like we were hurting each other. Sometimes we'd start laughing so hard at this that we couldn't continue.
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Registered: 11-17-2005
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 11:58am

Yes, its another dog story too. Early into our marriage my DH and I were having sex, missionary style, and our new dog jumped on the bed and proceeded to jump onto the back of my DH. (Our dog is small) Of course, my DH stops and when I look up I see not only one face looking down at me but two - my DH's and the dogs! We started laughing so hard that we couldn't finish!!!! The dog got all excited from us laughing so hard and started running around the bedroom!!!!

We shut the door now!

 

 

 

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Avatar for guyfromjersey
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Registered: 09-28-2004
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 1:43pm
This one would qualify as both risky and funny...I had been dating a former GF for about a month or so, but we had yet to have sex...you have to realize that my GF had a "get even" streak in her...so one night I was over at her house when she pulled me over her library and started kissing me. This wouldn't have bothered me so much, but in the next room was her mother. Now, her mother was a devout Catholic...my GF, on the other hand, detested Catholicism (her father was Jewish) and resented her mother's religious beliefs. On this particular night, Sister Margaret (yes, a nun) was visiting my GF's mother (she was was a regular visitor at the house) and the two of them were watching TV, maybe 15-20 feet from where we were making out. As things progressed, I worked my hand down into my GF's jeans and started stroking her clit. Very shortly a dilemma became apparent: my GF was quite tall (almost as tall as me and I don't have real long arms) and I had no idea if she was noisy at orgasm or not. Certainly, anything above a whisper might be heard by her mother and Sister Margaret. The problem was that I knew that I would have to keep kissing her so that she didn't make any audible noise, but because she was so tall I had to stretch my arm to the limit in order to stroke her, too. (Comfortably, I could only get to the top of her pubic hair.) It was a delicate (and somewhat comical) balancing act and, fortunately, I managed to keep our mouths together because yes, in fact, she did scream when she came...but down my throat...and she almost bit my tongue off, but no sound was made. I'm sure she got off in more way than one that night, having an orgasm with her mom and Sister Margaret in the next room.
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Registered: 12-20-2004
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 3:27pm
My 110 pound bouvier des flanders has tried to paw me off of my wife as we did doggie ..too funny.
Ive told this story before , sorry if you have heard it..
One night in the middle of the week we were camping at a 1/4 full campgrounds..It was hot and 1:30 am. We decided to go to the shower house in the campgrounds to shower together. As we were really getting into it (on the ladies side of the shower house) a van pulls up (remember middle of the night) and 12 girl scouts climb out of the van to take a shower too..The showers were the stall type with shower curtains.. My wife tells me to stay put, and before I could protest, she leaves me in the ladies side with all the girl scouts.Whispers to me, " I`ll tell you when the coast is clear"..I was only hoping no one opened the shower curtain or saw my feet underneath. After what seemed an hour(15 minutes) all the girls were finished and my wife returned. We finished and went back to our camp.......
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Registered: 08-12-2002
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 6:12pm
Ok, this wasn't my own experience, but I was there. A few years ago I went away camping with a couple of friends. J and I shared one tent, and my two other friends, K and G, who were a couple, were in the other tent. Next to K and G's tent one afternoon a couple showed up for a couple of nights and pitched their tent close by. Well that night K and G had a long night of sex, and K wasn't exactly quiet when she orgasmed. Next day we went out for the day to do a few touristy things, and when we came back the couple that had pitched their tent near K and G's the day before had moved their tent further away by about 10 metres.

 


 


Avatar for guyfromjersey
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Registered: 09-28-2004
Wed, 12-07-2005 - 7:46am
Great stories humpdaddy!
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Registered: 06-07-2005
Wed, 12-07-2005 - 6:47pm
While my wife was on top of me getting busy, she started to orgasm. The force of such cause a wee little gas explosion. That in itself is not the funny part. The funny part was feeling the rapid rush of wind across my testicles and between my legs! I even felt the lube dry a bit! We still laugh about the infamous "gas explosion".
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Registered: 01-11-2005
Wed, 12-07-2005 - 9:19pm

DW and I were close to mutual orgasm with her on top. Suddenly my right calf started to cramp up.

As the pain increased I started to moan, then scream. The louder I moaned and screamed, the more DW got turned on. She just kept going, and going and going at it while screaming louder herself. No matter how I twisted and turned I couldn't get out from under her.

Before I finally got her off of me, we were like two screaming banshees. Me, screaming, shouting and moaning from intense pain. She was screaming, shouting and moaning from the best orgasm of her life.

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