gagging when he climaxes
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gagging when he climaxes
| Mon, 03-06-2006 - 12:38am |
I have a very embarassing issue and would love some input. I'm not sure where else to look for help. Whenever I have sex with someone, or more specifically when the guy I'm with ejaculates, I start to gag. It doesn't matter if he's wearing a condom, is inside me, outside me, next to me, or anything. Just knowing he is doing that, makes me gag. But I don't know why. I don't think it's gross. But I am so nervous now because of it. Does anyone have any idea why I do this? Or how to overcome it? Should I tell the guys I'm with about it?
Thanks!!!

Have you ever experienced sexual molestation or rape? Has anyone ever forced you to do things you really didn't want to?
Sounds like a subconscious reaction to me. I would try and figure out why the thought of a man ejaculating is so repulsive to you and maybe then, you can do something to change it.
Yes, actually I was molested when I was a little girl, possibly by two men. I know that it happened with one of them, my school friend's dad, but I do not remember what happened.
So if this is the cause---how do I overcome if, especially if I don't even remember what happened to me?
I would strongly suggest counseling to deal with the emotional damage this has caused you. Counseling will help you to remember and then overcome the trauma of having your innocence, enjoyment of sex, and trust taken away. You CAN reclaim those things though.
And if the statute of limitations has not expired in your state, you might consider prosecution. You know you weren't the first or the last little girl to be victimized by these men. Pedophiles never have just one victim.
And if you are in a relationship, then it would be a good idea to let your partner know what you're experiencing, because he could already sense what you aren't disclosing. But in a casual situation, I don't think it's necessary myself.
I wish you much luck with overcoming this but I know with the proper help and encouragement, you will. No doubt.
Edited 3/6/2006 4:46 pm ET by katmandoo2001
Thank you so much for your help. I will think about getting counseling since it is free at my university. I have a major fear of talking to a stranger in person about it though. Online is totally fine, but not in person. Maybe there's some other online help?
Prosecution is not something I can do since I do not remember what happened. Also, I don't live in that state anymore. But if I was more certain of what happened, I would.
Thanks again!
I strongly agree with Kat, you should get counseling.
I so agree with Tish. She knows firsthand what this type of counseling is like but ANY counseling can be difficult at first. It's not normal to sit down and disclose intimate details of your life to a stranger but this person will be a professional, has heard it all and won't be a stranger for long.
And as for prosecution, I meant AFTER you have remembered and come to terms with your past, you might consider pressing charges, if it's still possible. That can be a huge part of the healing process, bringing your perpetrator to justice.
Thank you for the encouragment. I will definately think about talking to someone. I just don't know what i'd talk about since I can't remember any details. I also don't want to make it worse by thinking about it all the time either.
I'm also scared I'll have false memories if I try too hard to remember.
What are some things that have helped you? Are there any good books that you know of?
A therapist or psychologist that works with people with all kinds of problems but also has special training in sexual abuse/rape, they know how to deal with abuse patients which is different than how they would deal with say someone who is there for depression or anything that doesn't have to do with sexual abuse.