gaining stamina as he gains experience?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
gaining stamina as he gains experience?
3
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 12:34am
Hi! I'm hoping everybody can think back to your "early days" of having sex and help me out. My boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other just a few weeks ago, and we love this new part of our relationship. However, tonight (after we'd taken about a five-day break for my awful contagious cold -- ugh) we had sex that lasted about a minute. Of course this is far too short, and though we laughed, kissed and decided to try again in an hour, he physically couldn't do it. I tried not to act as disappointed as I was ...

Is it normal for a nineteen-year-old guy to be unable to "recover" in an hour or so? Is there anything we both can do to speed that recovery process? Ladies, did your new-to-sex guys learn to last longer/recover faster as they gained sexual experience? Guys ... well, did you?

Thanks y'all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 2:13am
Hon, everyone is different. It has nothing to do with age. Some men recover quickly, some don't. Recovery time can't be learned, either. It's just how HE is.

More to the point, he will learn how to last longer the first time around when he gets more experience, and more comfortable with it.

When you say sex, what you mean is intercourse....and part of his learning to last longer is foreplay, and taking LOTS of time to pleasure you, and make sure you're aroused and well lubricated. If he takes enough time in foreplay, you won't be so disappointed when intercourse is over so quickly.

The main thing is that even though sex is a "natural" thing.....it still takes time and practice to make it as good as it can get. And each new partner is a NEW learning experience, no matter how much prior "experience" you have. Your next partner may last an hour, and recover in 5 minutes.

It's a good thing that you are able to laugh about it, because sex doesn't need to be deadly serious.....it's to be enjoyed, including some laughter. It's also good that you didn't act unhappy or disappointed, because that would only put more pressure on him the next time. Remember, there's ALWAYS a next time. It won't be perfect EVERY time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 4:28am
Each man has a different refractory period. I've noticed that it sometimes has to do with what's going on in my life. For me, it's sometimes as little as 5 minutes and others it's over an hour. So I'm not sure there's any set time table, at least for me anyway.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 9:08am

With experience will come stamina but you can still get your satisfaction before intercourse with lots of foreplay.


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