Getting in the mood
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Getting in the mood
| Sun, 02-26-2006 - 5:10pm |
For about the past 7-8 months I just can't seem to get in the mood for sex. FI and I have tried 4 play, toys, movies... Nothing seems to help.. Or when I finally do get in the mood and we start going at it.. I just lose the feeling. Any advice on how to get in the mood and stay in the mood till I have reached my O? Which by the way I have only reached once in 7 years!!

I suggest that you google "clitoris" and go to the huge female-friendly website. Do some research on there, look into training yourself to orgasm. Its a learning process.
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Being in the mood, or "getting" in the mood has nothing to do with whether or not you have orgasms, or at least it shouldn't! The ability to get in the mood is controlled by hormones, and by your brain, MORE the brain than the hormones. If you're feeling cheated because you don't have orgasms, that could be doing it to you. Orgasms aren't, and shouldn't be the goal of sex and intimacy. Pleasure, which can be had without orgasms, should be the goal. Sharing your feelings and intimacy with someone you care about should be your goal.
Having orgasms is a matter of teaching yourself how to have them, and allowing them to happen. If you're concentrating on the orgasms or lack of them, then you're NOT concentrating on the pleasure. OR, your partner doesn't know what he's doing, and needs to be taught. He can't "give" you orgasms, but he can help you get there.
In any case, forget about orgasms, and work on learning to enjoy the pleasure. If you do that, eventually the orgasms will come. Orgasms don't make sex good, good sex makes orgasms happen.