getting over it

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2008
getting over it
5
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 10:17pm

I'm in my early 30s and preparing for a divorce. My husband has been my only sexual partner. When we first got married (10 years ago) he enjoyed intercourse, but I really didn't, only clit stimuli and oral. I learned from my gyno that I was getting little tears from me being dry. After he traveled for his job, I taught myself to enjoy intercourse. After that, I started to get really wet. Since then, I was

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2007
In reply to: weensbird
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 12:07am

I think that you need to remember that the right guy is not really going to be that overly cncerned with how tight kitty is. There is way more to good sex than just the ins and outs of intercourse. You need to be what you need to be for you, don't go around trytng to be, or fit into what you think someone expects of you.


If you are really, really worried about it, and it is affecting your confidence do kegels as often as you can. There are even little helpers you can get at blowfish.com.


First and foremost though, you are worth way more than

May you live for one hundred Autumns

May you be prosperous for one hundred Autumns

May you be healthy for one hundred Autmns

May you b

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: weensbird
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 8:42am
Welcome to the board, weensbird.

Your next relationship will not be anything like the one you had with your soon to be ex -- each relationship is different. Trying to compare experiences just doesn't work because they will all be different. I'm sure there were other problems in your marriage and your hubby wasn't willing to work on those either.



Lubrication will vary during a sexual act. You can't control that, but you can contribute to position and your own toning. If you use your PC muscles during intercourse, then you should be able to feel yourself gripping your partner. Here's a post, Here's a way toTune Up an Untoned Vagina, that has a lot of information about doing Kegel exercises.



You can also work on your Kegels during masturbation. Using a vibrator to judge your grip during intercourse is a pretty good way to see exactly what your muscles are capable of doing. Vary up your positions, see how well you can grip the vibe with it barely inserted, or all the way inserted, etc. The more confidence you build in yourself, the less the comments your ex has made will affect you.




iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
In reply to: weensbird
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 9:13pm

Hi - gedwyn - I think it was so brave of you to write this post.

Missy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: weensbird
Sat, 01-26-2008 - 12:29pm

Missy, keep us posted on how things go with your kegels.

Toning those PC muscles will also help you enjoy sex more. Practice them when he is inside of you and you will see what a difference it makes.





iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2007
In reply to: weensbird
Sat, 01-26-2008 - 8:54pm
I would not worry about it to much. Sounds like your hubby just didnt try hard enough. In my experiences it seem like men really like it when