Getting soft

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2006
Getting soft
7
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 2:06pm
In addition to my other post:
My sex partner and I each have had no problems staying aroused during sex. Given, alot of our sexual encounters are rushed and short, but when we do have sex for a longer period of time, it is usually 45-75 minutes. The other night, we were watching porno. (we enjoy doing this a lot) He was flipping through the scene selections, and we stopped for maybe 4-5 minutes while he was finding something he was in the mood for, he then went to the couch, grabbed a blanket. When we started up again, he was soft. I was surprised, given he has never gone soft- But is this normal especially if we stopped for those few minutes?? Does him going soft mean he was not aroused or lost interest during those few minutes?
Maybe this is totally normal, I don't know...Men? Any comments? Women, any experience with this?
Thanks!!
Igrl
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2006
In reply to: igrl30
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 2:23pm
yeah, as a guy, sometimes, during a break in the action, I sometimes go soft. But when I get back to my DW, I get hard again.
Question to you is, did he get hard again once he got back to bed? If he got hard once he came back to you, there is no problem. Its just happens sometimes to us guys. Had he had an orgasim yet, and were you going for a 'second time'???
Sometimes after the first time, and I am waiting for round 2, of course I go soft, then she gets me hard again, but sometimes I go soft during the second time, then get hard and finally explode again. But then again we are 53 and it takes long for round 2 and 3 because of my age.LOL!!
I wouln't worry about it if the rest of the session was good for both of you.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: igrl30
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 6:41pm

Yes, going soft means losing arousal. But do you ever become distracted or just lose the mood? Of course! Everyone does at some time. It's just part of being human.

Don't take this as a personal insult to you or your lovemaking. Don't overthink things so much. Whatever mood changes, etc. you have experienced, it's almost a sure bet that your partner has as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2006
In reply to: igrl30
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 6:46pm
He could have been tired or distracted that day. It happens and it's not necessarily because he didn't want you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: igrl30
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 7:53pm

It's normal.

As you said he has no problem staying hard when the action is happening and you are having sex. In this situation there wasn't too much action happening and then he got distracted, got something from the sofa and came back to bed. It's difficult to stay incredibly aroused and turned on when you're doing something like feelings cold and finding blankets. So yes, he did loose arousal because he was not doing something sexy - he was doing something ordinary like getting a blanket.

If you were having sex and then had to do something ordinary like answering the telephone you would find that you lost the mood too and were less aroused when you put the phone down.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
In reply to: igrl30
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 12:14am
If this is the first time you've ever seen a man lose his erection.....it won't be the last time. He was busy doing something else, and YES, for that moment his mind wasn't on being aroused...it was on whatever he was doing! And all that it takes is a little attention to get him right back to where he was before he stopped to play with the machinery. That is unless you got upset over it, and didn't try. It really had NOTHING to do with you, you know!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2006
In reply to: igrl30
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 1:06pm

<<>>

Actually, yeah, it is the 1st time I have seen him loose his erection. Believe it or not, he is the 1st man I have been with (I am in my 30's) It just was different, that's all....and we went right back to it, and he resumed his erection in a few seconds. I didn't know if he had lost interest, or whatever, it just surprised me. But, hearing what everyone says on this board, and thread, it is normal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
In reply to: igrl30
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 2:02pm
When a man loses his erection he may have temporarily lost arousal but that doesnt mean he has lost his desire for you.All it means is that little valve near the base of his penis opened up and let the blood out.As you probaly found out, it doesnt take much to get him ready to go again...Big difference between arousal and desire.