Getting too tight for him...
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Getting too tight for him...
| Tue, 05-01-2007 - 12:02am |
When I'm having sex with my boyfriend, I suddenly get tight during it. It gets too tight for him and he has to go get more lube and then loses his erection because of the interruption. Even with the lube right there with us, it's still a problem. He thinks that I'm not quite trusting him and getting too tense, but I don't think so. Does anyone else get this problem?

The more aroused you are, the more open your vagina will become, so relaxing and enjoying the pleasure can be helpful. Also, there is a difference between becoming dry and becoming tight. In either situation, arousal is a major key.
Are your muscles contracting? Are you holding them tight (like when you try to stop a flow of urine)? What type of sensations are you feeling when this is happening?
my partner in the siggy exchange
You don't get "too tight", you get "tense".....and it's very unusual to tense up in the middle of intercourse. That might indicate some kind of problem that has nothing to do with sex....or that he's taking way too long, and you're just "shutting down".
How is the relationship OUT of the bedroom? IS there a relationship out of the bedroom? Sometimes our bodies react to things that we try to shut out of our minds. Is he skipping foreplay? Are you afraid of pregnancy? How long have you been in this relationship?
Something is going on.....and you'll have to figure out what.
Here's a few other things to add to the "figure out" pile (LOL). Are you on hormonal birth control? Or other meds? They can mess with your body too (and cause dryness).
Are you having problems with dryness? A lot of things can contribute to that: caffeine, smoking, dehydration, etc.
Perhaps you are producing enough lubrication for him to start intercourse (especially if it's mixed with his pre-ejaculate), but the friction dries you out quickly. If you are a bit dry, then you may become uncomfortable, and your body may be reacting to that. Try having him use lube from the get go and see if that makes a difference. The "varts" (really it's a queef) are caused by air, and perhaps the addition of lube at the beginning will help to alleviate that problem too.
my partner in the siggy exchange
Hi wicked!
I really don't know much about your situation - age? first relationship? prior experiences?.. - but I do know something like this happened to me with my first sexual partner a little while after we had started having sex regularly. I believe it was a feeling that he was getting larger and I'm not that big to start with, so once I noticed the change, my body did seem to 'clamp down' on him. This made sex uncomfortable for him as well as for me. It wasn't until I became more relaxed about my body, his body, the feelings inside my body during i/c and knew what to expect (that it wasn't going to hurt) that this problem went away. It probably also had something to do with the fact that I got more secure in our relationship, as I had sex with him sooner than I thought we should.
Hope this has some value for you!
Moon