getting used to anal sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2008
getting used to anal sex
16
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 8:31pm
my husband wants anal sex but i just can't get used to it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 8:54pm

Welcome to the board, sexiness23.

When done properly, there shouldn't be any pain with anal sex. Some basic tips are to go slowly, use lube and more lube, and for you to be in control of the pentration. He has to have a lot of patience -- and pain is your body's way of telling you that something is wrong.

Have him enter you slowly, and allow yourself time to adjust before he penetrates further. Once you're ready, he can go deeper, and stop again. One of the things that causes pain is the muscles clenching up. So, you need to relax, but don't use things like numbing agents. If you push outward while he's pushing inward, that can be helpful too.

Here are a few articles that you might find helpful:

Adventurous Intimacy: 6 Do's and Don'ts of Anal Sex
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,b31g,00.html

I want to try anal sex
http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/experts/carnal/qas/0,,638358_602026,00.html

Second Opinions: Anal Sex
What you should know
http://health.ivillage.com/sexualhealth/0,,7558qs10,00.html

Take your time, make sure you're ready, and enjoy. Anal sex can be very pleasurable for both partners.

Let us know how things go.







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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 9:00pm
All I can say is I know from reading other posts that anal is about trust, a lot of trust. Also that it takes a lot of........prep work, that is the only way I can think to phrase it. I'm not into anal play and it took me almost, oh I'd say, 6 months to convince my fiancee to quit asking me because it just wasn't going to happen. But if its something your willing to explore, I know many other members of this board will be here to give you some advice and support. Much more than me, certainly.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 9:04pm
You type soooo much faster than me, not fair Misty,lol. You have much more practice than I do as well.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 9:13pm

LOL on the typing, Kee. The fastest I ever tested was 140 wpm.

I'll agree that I might have more practice with typing ... but not a whole lot more with anal sex. (Not sure which type of practice you were referring to.)

I have had anal sex in the past a couple of times (long ago), but DH isn't into it at all. LOL, I've only been waiting about 14 months since he told me he would give it a try! It gets brought up periodically, but we're not a whole lot closer to trying than we were all those months ago.







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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 9:54pm

I should learn to be more specific with my comments,lol. I was referring to your typing. That's faster than I have ever been tested at, I'm pretty sure I barely made it into the double digits for wpm (last time I was tested was back it my sophomore yr of high school).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2007
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 1:52am

To me, it's pretty simple...


You're not into it, it hurts, so don't do it. I know I sound like a prude, but you do have a right to say, "No, honey."

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 9:18am

What part of it hurts? From beginning to end or just a particular part of it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2007
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 1:03pm

Well, where do I start!


You really can't jump into anal intercourse. Ideally, you have to start slow and small and work up. The first thing you have to realize, as Misty pointed out, is that anal sex should not hurt at all, if it does something is wrong. The tricky part is to get past your mind telling your body that it is gong to hurt, because this becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.


What hurts, most commonly, is the internal, autonomically controlled sphincter. Even if you say yes, but your brain is saying this is gonna hurt, that muscle clamps down, and says no one passes through, try to, and you get sharp pain!


So, you begin with lots and lots of lube and a finger. You associate any and all booty play with intense pleasure. As you explore your back door, on your own in order to avoid pressure from a companion, you play with kitty. Have a good cum before and during your self exploration. As you get comfortable with light, small penetration, add another finger, still, all the while doing clitoral stim. Gradually, you will associate the feelings with intense pleasure, and you are on your way.


Relaxation, trust, communication, and patience are a must. Take your time, go slow, and make sure that what you do always feels good! Give

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 7:48pm

Oh my goodness, this is what is next for me?


I'm still into trying to let my boyfriend put his mouth on me!


LOL, this is scary.

Missy
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2007
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 8:19pm

Missy, If you don't like it than you don't do it, period.


You are such a wonderful person, and you want to please so much. Let others please you for a change! You are right in a way, your body is an avenue for pleasure, but that is a two way street, you give and you receive. You don't have to be the definition of a vixen to be loved. You can't make someone love you more through sex either. You need not take so much responsibility on yourself, you are learning to overcome years of indoctrination, you need to take it one day at a time.


Anal sex should never, ever be painful! The only way to overcome this is to realize it can be the source of very intense pleasure, not just to be aware of it, but to believe it to be so. If you think it is gonna hurt, it will. If you aren't turned on, and want to do it for YOU, it is gonna be, at best, uncomfortable. It takes time to get accustomed to, and really, you have to do it without the pressure of an impatient SO. As much as it hurts when not done right, is as good as it feels when it is.

May you live for one hundred Autumns


May you be prosperous for one hundred Autumns


May you be healthy for one hundred Autmns


May you be happy for one hundred Autumns



May you live for one hundred Autumns

May you be prosperous for one hundred Autumns

May you be healthy for one hundred Autmns

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