GF only climaxes on top

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
GF only climaxes on top
17
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 9:23am

My gf of about 8 months and I have a pretty good thing going. We are both single parents, and don't get to see each other as often as either would like. But when we are together it's great (she's even said so!). The sex has been great, as we are both very much into pleasing the other. Plus, we have open communication about what we like and don't like.

My question though is about how she can only cum when she is on top, atleast that is what she says. She claims she has never had an orgasm any other way, not even during oral. And, personally, I pride myself on giving quality oral (not that I'm bragging, here). Sometimes, when it feels like she may be getting close to climaxing during oral, she starts to giggle, claiming that it tickles (this is usually when I am putting pressure on her clit). She likes other sexual positions - missionary, rear entry, etc. But, she has only cum when she is on top. She just seems to accept that is how she is. I've asked her about it, but I don't make a big deal about it.

I'm not losing any sleep over this at this point. We enjoy sex together and frankly, we don't get to spend enough time together to make this a big issue. If we had like an entire weekend together I'm sure we could go through a bunch of techniques to see what other sexual acts/positions could possibly bring her to orgasm. It just makes me wonder if it's a control issue for her. Does anyone have any experience with this type of thing?

thanks

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 9:17am
I can only come on top also! I can with oral don't get me wrong. But when my beau is inside of me I cannot come with him on top! I don't know why. But let me on top and I can cum over and over.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 9:40am

If you read the other replies, there is nothing for you to have a complex about. Has your husband ever SAID he was unhappy? As we told the OP, it has nothing to do with him, and it has nothing to do with the female being "in control" excepting that she's in control of the movements. Who cares HOW you do it, most men are just happy IF you do it, which is ludicrous, because they're not "giving" you the orgasms....they're just providing the help.

If that's the only position you ever want to use, maybe he IS bored with it. But, you can use a hundred different positions during a session.....who says you have to have orgasms from all of them? If he has a favorite position, why can't you use that for a while, and eventually, move on top of him, and THEN have your orgasm(s).

You're both supposed to be having pleasure, not just you, not just him. That's what communication is all about. He knows what you like, obviously, but do you know what HE likes...and does he get that, too?

Having an orgasm (or NOT) is a small part of the whole sexual realm. There is much pleasure to be had for BOTH of you....regardless of orgasms. Having them is a bonus, NOT a requirement.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2003
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 3:25pm

i can also only cum during sex while on top, me and my fiance have tried many positions and one day i just jumped on top and it happened. my fiance dont mind that its the only position that i can cum in because he enjoys it more knowing im enjoying it and am getting something out of it instead of laying there while he does the job.

i find it easy to cum during oral too but i find that i cant have it direct on my clit same with foreplay i need to build it up or it's soo strong it hurts. but like everyone else said every woman is diffrent and unique

i also think i might be able to cum during anal, we did it a few weeks ago and i felt a weird sensation and almost ejaculated, but then my fiance was at the point of no return so i dont know if i could of achived an orgasam or not, maybe next time!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 5:39pm
alan, on g spot stimulation...As you are licking her clit area(around or direct,whetever she prefers) insert one or two fingers..the g spot is located , normally just inside the vagina one to two inches on the top side of her vagina.(shes laying on her back) Even if you cant feel it, its usually there...make the "come here" motion with your fingers as you rub the top side ...you may have to experiment with pressure..if she says it makes her feel like she has to pee, you found it...Not all women get that sensation but many do...What I do if they complain of that need to pee feeling, I just lessen the pressure, and BOOM! off they go...combine the licking of the clit and the rubbing of the g spot, and get into a good steady constant consistant rhythm, she will love it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 8:10pm
I have yet to orgasm with a guy during sex, but last week when I was on top I was sooo incredibly close. So I'm gonna keep doing it that way until it happens!!! I'll probably stick with that position when I want to orgasm because I know it can happen. Sonds like your gf just found what works for her. Every woman is different!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 7:21am
Thank you Mr. H-daddy, I will give it a try!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2004
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 5:57pm
I was being a little sarcastic. Really he and I work well together. Sorry if I wasn't clearer.

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