gf's rape fantasies

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2004
gf's rape fantasies
11
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 4:41pm
please help! my gf has this fantasy about being brutally raped. she wants me to beat her up, brusing her, pulling her hair and smacking her her face and punching her vagina. she wants as close to the real thing as possible. how do i tell her i cant do it because it scares me?

she was never raped but her friend was.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 4:55pm
Just tell her. It was her right to be able to tell you what she wants. It's your right to be able to tell her what you DON'T want to do.

What she wants is very extreme and way out of most people's comfort zone. So if you think that she'll be upset because you don't want to do it, then she really needs to learn more about how normal people treat one another.

Even if you decided to do this there is the potential for some serious injury and damage to her. Not to metion the repercussions from friends, family, workmates and even police involvement when the bruising and injuries become obvious to everyone. Think very carefull about this before even thinking of getting involved with her in this way.

If she continues with this and cannot see your point of view I would suggest some counselling for the two of you. Despite claiming that she hasn't been raped, there is something odd going on inside her head.

On the brightside, she might be able to compromise and you might be able to try some light bondage or SM if you can handle that, and that might satisfy her. These are controlled situations though and I would suggest that you don't try this alone unless you are very well informed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 5:50pm

I agree with everything Westridge said in his post.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 6:32pm
Jack,

I totally agree with Tish. As a rape survivor, I can't imagine this fantasy either. I was beaten, choked, and raped and wouldn't wish that on anyone. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 6:34pm
I agree with Westie. There's something going on. To enjoy light bondage or (this is one I like) having my DH on top while holding my hands down over my head) - that feeling of not being in control with someone you love and trust can be erotic. To want to be physically hurt is something else entirely.

I would simply refuse to do it. Tell her you're glad that she felt she could share a fantasy with you but it's not one you can do. Be firm. And tell her that you love her and you could never in your wildest dreams hurt or or inflict pain on her. And that you never will.

(PS - the counseling idea isn't a bad one)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 6:41pm
Why don't you try a few softer scenarios first. Ease into it, because I don't think she or any woman enjoys having their vagina's punched, etc. Tie her up, blindfold her, try some slaps to her butt, boobs. Maybe take a ruler and slap her a little. Not enough to bruise her, but get her excited (some women DO enjoy this). Make rough love to her, talk dirty. See if THAT is more what she's looking for.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 9:30am
I'm with Westie on this. Just tell her no. You have that right. Just because one has a fantasy, doesn't mean that it MUST be fulfilled by the partner.

And frankly, anyone who ASKS to be beat up and raped, needs some counseling. There could be self loathing or a deep shame about sexual pleasure fueling this desire.


Edited 11/2/2004 11:20 am ET ET by katmandoo2001

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 12:29pm
THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!!

"As a rape survivor who was drugged, hit, held down, tied down, slashed with a knife as a warning to stop screaming, raped for 6 hours by 2 scumbags and left bleeding and to terrified to move, I cannot for the life of me understand why someone would have a rape fantasy. I understand rape doesn't seem so terrifying to someone who has never lived through it, but I still can't understand fantasizing about it. Just reading your post made my hair stand on end."

I was molested when I was a young girl and many of my family and friends have been too. We all feel the same way about the school girl fantasy. It hits too close to home. I understand exactly how you feel.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 1:46pm
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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 7:25pm
OK.....I have a pretend rape fantasy. I'd like to be held down with forced entry. But it's only something that I'd do with someone who I trusted implicitly. There would be a key word for "stop" and at no stage would actual pain be inflicted. I would probably stop "fighting" and enjoy as soon as he was inside. Basically, it's all pretend stuff because despite my pretending to be raped, I would be in control of my situation the whole time. I suppose my reasons are mainly because I'm such a dominant lover, that having the opposite would be a turn on.

But in answer to your question, my DH won't do this with me. Because he finds violence (even pretend violence) to be offensive and upsetting. That's his perogative, and something which I accept without question.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 7:35pm
I have to agree more or less with everyone else here. Rape fantasies are fairly common, but I think it is usually has more to do with giving up control than being physically hurt. I know I have a rape fantasy, but it is more about being held down and seduced into submission, then physical abuse or pain. JMO

Angel

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