girth?
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| Mon, 01-09-2006 - 3:24pm |
I apologize if I'm being indelicate, but this is a board about sex, so here goes. I've been dating someone new for about a month. We haven't had intercourse, but have fooled around using our hands. I've noticed that he has significant girth, compared to the one guy I've had sex with, and this freaks me out. With my previous boyfriend, intercourse caused me some discomfort upon initial penetration, but once he was in, I would be fine. I'm pretty sure I'll have sex with my new boyfriend, but I'm worried about what to expect. Another weird thing is, I know his ex-girlfriend and in a moment of indiscretion (she was drunk) said something about how he nearly split her in half (though I thought that expression pertained to length, not girth). He's not unusually long, from what I could tell, but I don't have a great frame of reference.
If anyone could chime in, please do.
Thanks.

I don't think you need to worry about it. IF you are completely aroused and fully lubricated before penetration, you can accomodate almost any size erection, when taken slowly and gently.
And remember, his ex and you are two different women. Just don't let her words influence you to any significant degree. Who knows, he may just the perfect size for you?
Edited 1/9/2006 3:51 pm ET by katmandoo2001
If your previous boyfriend caused some discomfort when he was going into you, this suggests you weren't lubricated enough, or your vaginal muscles weren't relaxed enough to allow easy entry. As long as you're lubricated enough, and have had adequate foreplay before you have sex with your new boyfriend, then it should be alright. Use extra lubricant if you need to. Just get him to take it slowly until you get used to his girth, and figure out what you can and can't handle. Ignore what his ex told you in her drunken state. Everyone is different.
Just don't have sex with him until you're sure you are ready to. If you're worrying about his girth, then you won't be able to relax enough to prepare for it.
Good luck
Jan
I agree with the others. If you had pain with your ex, then it was because you weren't aroused enough, and/or lubricated well enough. After you got started, you relaxed, and lubricated more, so it was okay.
Now you're worrying (which will make it worse) about this guy's size. Your vagina is capable of handling any sized guy within reason. Particularly in the girth. If the vagina can stretch enough to let a baby pass thru it, there are very few men that are bigger than a 9 pound baby, and I'm sure he's not.
Make sure you're FULLY aroused, meaning lots of foreplay, and you're well lubricated, and for the first few times, have some lubricant handy......because no matter how experienced you are, the first time or two with a new partner you will be nervous.
Stop worrying about it. Let nature take it's course. It will be fine, IF you let it be.
Thanks everyone for the input. I do feel better about things and am sure it will be fine. I'm still relatively new to sex, so am conquering my hangups as I go. I like this new guy a lot. We are much more compatible than I was with my ex and my attraction to him goes far beyond the superficial.
Unfortunately we are in a long distance relationship, so we don't get to see each other as much as we'd like. If there's a good side to it, I guess it's the building anticipation. I know he's really looking forward to having sex, and I am too. Now that I've dealt with this girth anxiety, I think it will be great once we are together.
Thanks again!
I say good for you in finding someone who is more in tune with you! A great way to put it may be something, like WOW, you are so much bigger than anyone I have ever seen befoe, please go in slow at first. You know stroke his ego a little, positive pillow talk helps a lot more than nagging and complaining.
Jason